


Anniversary Waltz, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Pre-White House (West Wing), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-13
Updated: 2007-02-13
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: In the months leading to their tenth wedding anniversary, Jed and Abbey find it difficult to juggle professional and personal commitments





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

October 1976

Ellie jerked from side to side every time she heard her mother's voice. Restrained by her highchair tray, the two-year-old wiggled as she held out her hands to get Abbey's attention in the few seconds she'd catch a glimpse of her running from room to room in a hurried effort to get dressed for work. 

"She isn't eating," Jed called out to his wife when Ellie pushed his hand away repeatedly.

"Muuuummmmmmaaaaa!" 

Abbey stopped at the table and took the spoon out of his hand, offering it to her daughter herself. That was all it took for the compliant toddler to open her mouth. “There you go, Sweetheart.”

A slight inkling of jealousy running through his veins, Jed sat back in his chair and watched Abbey interact with their baby girl, entranced by the special rapport she seemed to have with her -- one that he never had. "She refuses to eat when I feed her."

"She just misses me." Unfortunately, even Ellie was feeling the strain of Abbey's new schedule.

"She’s not the only one," Jed mumbled. He looked around the room to spot his older daughter. "Lizzie, get off the phone and eat your breakfast."

Liz pressed and released the hookswitch several times, each push becoming more aggressive than the last. "I need to call Amy to see if she's wearing her purple skirt today."

"Why?"

"Because if she's wearing her purple skirt then I have to wear my black one."

"Why can't you wear the one you have on?"

Questions. How she hated questions she felt had pretty obvious answers. She looked down at her skirt before replying. "Because it's red."

"So?"

"We'll clash."

Jed squinted while staring at his daughter, his mind comprehending her words, but still asking the inevitable. "What?"

"We like to match when we're together."

"Lizzie, aren't you a little too young to worry about matching your outfits to those of your friends?" He didn't dare mention that she was only in third grade.

It didn't matter. She caught his tone anyway. "Daddy, I'm not a baby. Mommy and her friends used to match their outfits."

He turned an accusatory glare towards Abbey. "Tell me she's kidding, or at the very least misinformed." 

"That was in high school," Abbey dismissed. 

"So this is your fault." His head snapped towards Liz as she slammed the receiver into the cradle.

"The phone doesn't work."

"I'm not surprised after that little outburst. You know better than that. Come finish your breakfast."

"She's right. It isn't working," Jed confirmed after trying it himself. 

"Did you pay the bill?" Abbey asked. 

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Jed, why would I pay the bill? You’re the one who balances his checkbook every night and goes over everything with a fine-tooth comb."

"I assume you're looking for an answer slightly more sophisticated than 'because you said you would'?"

"I barely have time to breathe these days. Why would I say I would pay the bill?"

He moved towards her and handed her her purse. "Abbey, I was sitting at the table, exhausted from grading papers, you came home and picked up a bunch of bills, put them in your bag, and said you'd take care of them so I get to bed."

"That's ridiculous." At his urging, she slipped her hands into her purse and slowly pulled out several envelopes, her brows crinkling at the evidence. "Oh God."

"Yeah."

"I must have forgotten."

"Hmm mmm. Well, Lizzie, I hope you don't need electricity this weekend because we're about to lose that too," Jed commented while flipping through the rest of the bills. 

"What? No!"

"Jed, I'm sorry. I've just been so..."

"Busy. I know."

"Please go down there this afternoon and fix this. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"You're not around long enough to make it up to me."

A hint of leftover resentment didn't go unnoticed, though she refused to acknowledge it with the same tone. "I thought we were over our snippiness."

"Yeah, well, I wanted to get one more snipe in before I turn over a new leaf. And by the way, unless you're a partner in the aforementioned 'snippiness,' you don't get to use the word 'we'."

His more cheerful response put her mind at ease, for the moment. "Jed?"

"I'll take care of it."

"Mommy, when can we go get my costume?"

One family crisis averted and another one just beginning. "I don't know, Sweetie."

"But Halloween is next week and I have to have my costume ready for Amy's party on Friday."

"We already bought you a costume," Jed interrupted.

"It doesn't have any sparkles on it. I want the one at Redmon's so I can be a sparkly ballerina."

"Maybe I can get off a little early tonight and we can go shopping, okay?"

\- - -

Lizzie anxiously watched the clock from the time she returned from school, occasionally breaking to stare out the window in anticipation of her mother's return. 

When Jed realized Abbey wasn't going to be home in time, he offered to take Liz to the costume shop. Unfortunately, it was just minutes too late. They arrived just as the store was closing, leaving the eight-year-old feeling disappointed and angry. 

She shuffled her feet against the concrete walkway to the entrance of the house and just barely lifted herself to step inside, her expression unwavering when greeted by Abbey.

"I'm really sorry,” Abbey said. “There was nothing I could do." 

No matter how sincere her statement, it didn't ease the frustration. These late nights had become the norm. A resident's schedule was not her own and though Jed and the girls had tried to get used to the 100-hour work weeks, the frequent 36-hour shifts, and the night she spent sleeping at the hospital when she was on-call, it was a challenge.

"It's okay," Liz offered quietly. 

Jed handed a restless Ellie to Abbey and in the brief moment husband and wife connected, she realized Liz wasn't the only one upset. "Lizzie, why don't you go get ready for bed. I'll read you a story."

"Wait. Don't I get to see the costume first?" Her daughter's blank stare forced her to look at Jed. "That's where you took her right?"

"They were closed."

Those three words coupled with Liz's disheartened retreat to her bedroom, broke Abbey's heart. She had come to terms with the fact that the commitment to her profession would take its toll on her family, at least temporarily, but some days, her absence was even harder on her. 

All her life, she had dreamed of having the storybook marriage with beautiful children and a challenging, yet rewarding career. Unfortunately, she had given little thought to reconciling those two goals into one dream.

"How am I going to make it up to her?"

"Take her shopping tomorrow night."

"I'm working through the night. I won't be home until Friday."

"And I have a late meeting so I guess I can't take her either."

She caught the chilly response he threw at her. "You're mad at me too."

"I'm not mad at you, Abbey. I just feel bad for Lizzie. And I'm wondering how we're going to deal with this for the next several years."

"It'll get easier. I really believe that. In the meantime, I've been thinking. We have a baby-sitter here practically full-time. Why don't we hire a nanny?"

"A nanny?"

The thought of a nanny would have made both of them cringe once upon a time, but now, they had exhausted other options. The girls deserved the attention they were once given, the attention that professional constraints now made it impossible to give. 

\- - -

The next morning as Liz emerged from her room, her eyes glazed over her sleeping parents on the sofa and quickly came to rest on the lavender ballerina costume her mother held in her hands. The sheer lace overlay was glittered with purple and silver Austrian crystals that Abbey had run out to buy the night before. Jed stayed up with her as she sewed each one on individually, strategically placing them so the colors reflected off one another. 

"Mommy!" Lizzie called out gently with a light tug on Abbey's shirt.

"Mmm." Abbey stirred slightly before opening her eyes. "Hey, good morning."

"Is that my costume?"

"Yes, it is. What do you think?" She nervously held her breath as she held it up for Liz's inspection.

"I love it!"

"I know it's not like the one you saw at Redmon's."

"That's okay. I really love it! Thank you!" Her attention moved to Jed who was rubbing his groggy eyes with his fists. "Isn't it pretty, Daddy?"

"It's beautiful. But there's one more thing. You're going to look like an authentic ballerina with these," he said while handing her a rectangular box containing a pair of pink ballet slippers.

"Thank you..." she said hesitantly."...but they don't match."

"Ah, I must have given you the wrong pair." He smiled at his intentional mistake, then pulled out a pair of purple slippers instead. "These are for Halloween. The other pair is for when you start dance class next week."

"REALLY?!" 

"Really. I'm going to take you every Thursday night." Jed and Abbey exchanged a glance before he continued. "It was your Mom's idea."

"Actually..." Abbey began before Jed tapped her hand to stop her from admitting that it wasn't her idea. That, in fact, she had no knowledge of Jed's surprise whatsoever.

He was determined and confident that misdirecting Liz would erase any residual disappointment. "She's happy. Let it go," he whispered to Abbey after a grateful Liz jumped into her arms. 

He was right. Lizzie was happy. And so was Jed. But in a moment when she was surrounded by the joyful expressions, the only emotion that penetrated Abbey's exterior was sadness. This conflict may have been resolved, but it was the start of a new phase in the family dynamics -- one that would test everyone's strength and, she hoped, wouldn't result in bitter resentment.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Halloween Night

Just off a peaceful residential street in rural New Hampshire, the Bartlet house sat by itself, a good distance from the other homes, and surrounded primarily by a pile of multicolored leaves that had fallen off the trees that sheltered it. 

It was just before midnight. And while Abbey and Jed were asleep in their room with their arms and legs entangled, baby Eleanor slept silently in her crib. A restless Elizabeth lay under her blanket, her fingers gripping the edge securely to weigh it down against the mattress. Her eyes were open, yet blinded by the material of her makeshift tent. 

The whistle of the wind had taken on an ominous sound as it guided a metal trash can towards the side of the house until it came to a crashing halt. Small pellets of hail bounced off the window, rattling the frame. Amid the lightening bolts that caused only seconds of visibility, Liz leapt out of bed and ran to her parents' room.

"Mommy!" she shouted in a fast-paced sprint to the bed.

Jarred from her restful slumber, Abbey sat bolt upright. "Lizzie? What's wrong?"

"Ellie and me are scared."

"Ellie and I," Jed corrected as he rested against the headboard. "What's the problem?"

"We don't wanna sleep alone."

"Is Ellie awake?" Abbey asked as she pushed the covers aside to get out of bed.

Liz followed her out of the room and across the hall. "No, but I can tell she's scared too."

Abbey tucked a small blanket around sleeping toddler. "She seems to be fine," she said, kneeling down in front of the eight-year-old. "Did the storm scare you, Angel?"

Liz nodded hesitantly, ashamed to admit that she had been frightened. "Yeah," she said as she clutched her doll and hung her head. 

"It's okay, Baby Doll. I'll tell you a secret. Storms like that scare me too. You want to sleep with me and Daddy tonight?"

"Can I?"

"Of course you may." 

It was the big-sister quality that Liz had learned to adapt to that kept her from admitting her fears. She and Ellie shared a room, but no one knew that many times when Ellie stirred in the middle of the night, Liz sat by her crib and sang her back to sleep, usually comforting her with the doll Abbey had given her several Christmases ago. No one needed to know. To Liz, it was simply her duty as the older sibling. 

On the rare occasion that Liz was the one who had trouble sleeping, she found it difficult to ask for help. But tonight was different. Tonight, there was something besides the storm that was looming in the background. It was something that had been bothering her for days. 

"Mommy?" she whispered as Jed helped her into bed. "Can I tell you something?"

"Lizzie, you can always tell us anything."

"What's going on?" Jed asked.

"At Amy's party, something happened." She sat in the middle of her parents who hovered above, waiting for her to continue. "We played with this thing. It was this board and Kimmy said we could talk to ghosts and spirits with it."

"A Ouija board?" 

Lizzie sensed Jed's irritability. "I only played because I thought it wasn't real. But it was. And the spirits were there. They moved the pointer and they spelled out things."

"Like what?"

"My name. And Amy's. And Kimmy said that means bad things are going to happen to us." Her voice broke with subtle tears.

Jed wrapped an arm around her as Abbey wiped her face. "Sweetie, you were right the first time. Ouija boards aren't real. Your friends were playing a joke on you. That's all."

"This is exactly why we told you not to play these types of games." His tone was much sharper than he intended.

"Jed," Abbey shook her head to stop him. 

He adopted a gentler approach this time. "Lizzie, those kinds of things are only meant to manipulate your mind, make you believe things that aren't really there. There were no spirits. Not there and certainly not here. You're safe."

"But Kimmy said..."

"Kimmy was wrong," Abbey interrupted. "I'll tell you what, tomorrow night we'll go pick up our very own Ouija board and play it right here so you can see there's nothing to it."

"Abbey, we don't need those things in the house."

"I want to show her they're not real."

"They're not real. She'll realize that when she sees that nothing's going to happen to her or to Amy."

"You promise?" Lizzie asked with curious eyes concealing the bundle of nerves inside her.

"I promise," he replied with a kiss to her forehead. 

It was enough to ease her fears, at least for that night. 

\- - -

The next evening, as promised, Abbey and Lizzie sat at the dining room table, a Ouija board between them. Their fingertips rested lightly on the edge of the planchette as they moved the marker slowly around the board.

"Are you ready?" 

"Uh huh."

"Ask it whatever you want."

"Um, will Mommy let me have an extra dessert tonight?"

Abbey bore down on the pointer and exaggerated a move to the word the ‘NO’ with a grin plastered across her face. "If you're not going to be serious, neither am I."

Lizzie gave her a lighthearted laugh. "I don't know what to ask it."

"Ask it whatever you and your friends asked the other night." Suddenly, a more somber expression washed over Lizzie's features. "It's okay, Sweetheart. I'm right here."

"Are the spirits in this room?" She bit down on her lip in anticipation. The three-legged, heart-shaped gadget remained perfectly still. "Are they haunting us?" Once again, no movement. Lizzie removed her hands in excitement. "That's it! That's what we asked! That's when it spelled our names!"

"You see how it's not moving? Now put your fingers back on the pointer." Abbey slid it around the board gingerly. "I bet you don't even realize I'm moving it." Lizzie shook her head emphatically. Your friends were just having some fun. They were trying to trick you."

"It was a mean trick!" 

Her pouting lips and slouched posture was so reminiscent of her father that Abbey couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped her. "Okay, it's time to clean up. I have to get ready for work."

"Do you have to go?"

"I'm afraid so. But Daddy's going to be home any minute." 

It had become an all too familiar routine. Seconds after one parent came home, the other would have to leave. Lizzie wasn't the only one feeling the brunt of the hectic schedules. Jed and Abbey barely had time to kiss each other goodbye most nights.

It was a fact he slowly and reluctantly adjusted to, and one that he mentally prepared himself for every night before opening the door. "Hey!"

"Daddy!"

"Hi," Abbey greeted as she cleared the table.

"Hi. What's all this?"

"I bought a Ouija board."

"And we played it and Mommy showed me that my friends just tricked me!" Liz added.

"She did? So see? You and Amy are perfectly safe."

"Uh huh! I have to go call Amy!" 

Jed watched with a smile as she ran to the phone, then turned a more serious gaze towards his wife. "I thought we talked about it last night. I said you didn't need to prove to her that they're fake."

"I heard you. But in the course of being my own person, I overruled you. Jed, they're harmless. When I was growing up, I used to play with my girlfriends. Someone always moves the pointer and causes everyone else to scream in horror. I wanted Lizzie to see it for herself." 

He fumbled with the planchette, turning it over to examine it. "I just want to go on the record as saying I'm completely against this thing being in the house."

"Duly noted," she replied with a quick kiss to his cheek and then a sharp turn to the bedroom. "I have to get ready for work."

"You still have two hours, right?"

"I was called in early. I'm leaving in 10 minutes."

"Abbey." He let out an exasperated sigh as he stopped in the doorway. "I was hoping we could have some time..."

"I'm sorry. I can't." She caught the sudden roll of his eyes just before he turned around. It was something he always did when he was angry or frustrated. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You were an hour late tonight, Jed."

"I couldn't get out of it," he replied as he spun around to face her.

"Neither can I. You understand?"

A warm smile framed his face, answering her question before he spoke the words. "Do I have a choice?"

With her hands placed firmly on his cheeks, she replied with a grin and another kiss. "We'll work something out soon. I promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"I know you are." She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her bag before leaving the room. "You should wake Ellie up soon or she won't sleep tonight." 

“Yeah.”

Jed followed her into the girls' room where she stroked the few strands of hair on Ellie's head. "Dinner is on the stove," she continued as they walked into the living room. "Dessert in the fridge. Lizzie has math homework tonight. Make sure you check her work before she goes to bed."

"Okay."

"I won't be home until early Wednesday morning," she reminded him as she hugged Lizzie. 

"Yeah, I know."

His hesitant acceptance gave her momentary pause. Her hand resting on the doorknob, she turned her head towards him. "We'll find time next week."

It wasn't an empty promise. He knew that. But he also remembered spouting those very words at her when they were in London. Back then, he was the one rushing out the door and she was the one anxiously awaiting his return. 

Times had definitely changed. Hindsight was 20/20. 

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Election Night

The arm was lowered cautiously onto the turntable. The needle gently caressed the vinyl as the record spun around. 

Jed swayed slowly back and forth with a few steps to turn him towards his wife. His hand extended in front of him, encouraging Abbey to join him. She rose to her feet and tentatively took hold of his fingers. Her reluctance was soon overshadowed by amazement and a little confusion. 

He was actually dancing. 

She expected the same clumsy awkwardness that he displayed during their first meeting, the night they first danced, the night he stomped on her swollen toe. Or at the very least, she expected the same apprehension she saw in all their subsequent attempts.

But that awkward demeanor had been replaced by exquisite form, stature, and ability, at least for the first few minutes. Then the old Jed -- the Jed she knew and loved -- was back.

She raised her hand to her lips to cover her laughter when he stumbled. "I was about to ask where you learned to dance like that."

He didn't dare mention that for the past two Thursday nights, he dropped Elizabeth off at ballet class and then retreated down the hall for his private lessons in ballroom dance. That was to be a surprise only revealed next summer. It was easy enough to hide since he was certainly no expert. 

Not yet anyway.

"We don't ask those questions," he answered softly.

"I do. I always have. So tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You hate to dance. I have to force you to do it. So why the change?"

His fingers gripping her waist, he twirled them around, abandoning any specific technique and just swaying to the music that played in the background. Her chin was resting on his shoulder, her fingers sprawled over his back. Her other hand was still grasping his as they turned over and over again from one end of the room to the other. 

"I just love being close to you."

"I notice you've improved since our last time - in Venice."

He closed his eyes and smiled, trying to recreate the loving image in his mind. Their remarkable weekend getaway to Venice had been one of the highlights of their years in London. After Elizabeth was born, they struggled to find time together, and so on a lovely spring afternoon, they left little Lizzie with their trusted landlord and together, they took a trip to rediscover each other, to remember what it was like to be lovers in addition to being parents.

Jed would never forget holding onto Abbey and dancing to Vieni Su, the romantic Italian aria the violinist was played for them on the balcony of a romantic restaurant, the soft wind sweeping under Abbey's hair, her auburn tresses catching the subtle spark of light from the gondolas on the waterway below. 

"You had to practically hold me up," he remembered, his eyes still closed. 

"Yes, I did, and you hated it."

"I did not. I loved having you in my arms." 

Remembering the smile plastered across his face as he allowed her to lead, she conceded. "But the dancing. You hated the dancing. After that, I assumed I would never be able to talk you into dancing again." She paused briefly, waiting for a reply. She didn't get one. "So who taught you?"

He pulled his body away while his hands still grasped her waist. "I'm deeply wounded that you don't think I could have taught myself."

She yanked him back close and snuggled tightly up to him, her arms now coiled around his waist. "I think you can do anything in the world, Representative Bartlet."

"Mmm, that has a nice ring to it." His cheek rubbed against hers, making her giggle softly.

"It certainly does."

This night would be filled with memories, memories of Ellie and Lizzie playing A Barrel of Monkeys on the floor, Lizzie pausing every so often when she heard her father's name mentioned during the news coverage, memories of Mary sitting beside Abbey and holding her hand, as if there was any real suspense in the announcement, memories of James sitting next to Jed deeply entranced in the television with a look of pride Jed had last seen reflected in his father's eyes during his wedding. 

And now, the most treasured moment of the evening that would soon become a special memory he'd savor forever - he and Abbey dancing around the living room, alone, to Vieni Su.

There was no campaign staff. Hell, there hadn't even been an actual campaign. He had started early, canvassing the district, getting to know the voters one by one. But there hadn't been any real competition. His entrance into the world of politics wasn't the triumphant victory he secretly wished it would have been. He ran unopposed in a district where his name was widely known, his ideas widely approved. 

Part of him longed for the thrill of competition, the satisfaction of a true win. The other part, still haunted by his father's menacing threats of embarrassment at the result of defeat, was content that there was no rival. 

He got what he wanted, what the New Hampshire democrats all wanted. He was now a New Hampshire state legislator and once the legislative session began, he'd be ready to take on Elliot Roush and the other politicians who crammed their personal agendas down the throats of their constituents. 

"My parents are so proud of you, you know?" 

He knew. It was obvious he knew. But Abbey's words still warmed his heart. "I know."

"So am I." She wasn't sure if it was her love for him or the knowledge that he grew up devoid of praise that caused her to never miss an opportunity to gush over his success. It was probably a little bit of both. 

He took her hand back in his and pushed her slightly back, twirling her under the bridge of their arms. She swung out of his hold, but gripped his forearm, leading him to the bedroom right behind her. 

Her arms converged around his neck, pulling him forward towards her mouth. Their lips connected, she began unbuttoning his shirt, pressing her hands into his chest in an upward motion to help glide it off his shoulders. It fell to the floor behind him as his own fingers tinkered with the hem of her sweater. Her hands joined his and they lifted it over her head, tossing it aside while he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. 

He laid her down, gently trailing her neck with warm kisses as he climbed in next to her. He unzipped her skirt. She raised her hips to slide it down her legs. His lips continued their downward path towards her chest as he unclasped the front of her bra, allowing the cups to fall to the side. He kissed the valley in the center before concentrating on each individual breast. 

Her back arched in response. She kept herself together long enough to unzip his pants and ease them down past his hips. He threw them off quickly as his kisses became more intense, her moans more sensual. He sat up then, settling in between her thighs. He curled under the top of her pantyhose, taking advantage of her every squirm as she helped him roll the satiny softness down her thighs. He did it slowly, methodically, driving her crazy with the graze of his fingertips softly scratching her skin. 

Once they were discarded, he relaxed on top of her, his legs now grinding against her uncovered body. She lifted her head to catch another kiss before his lips began another journey away from hers. His right hand rested on her forehead to brush her bangs out of the way and he stopped momentarily, staring deep into her eyes, captivated by their piercing beauty. 

He loved all of her, but it was those expressive eyes that drew him in ten years earlier and still managed to charm him to this day. With a simple look, he could see all her emotions. Sometimes, it was happiness that caused them to grow and sparkle with such intensity that he could feel the joy seep out of her. Other times, they were small and vulnerable, a fraction of their normal size, rooted deep in sadness or disappointment. And occasionally, they were shadowed with a steely stare, warning him of her anger. 

But tonight, it was love that was visible in her eyes. A love so deep that the natural green hue twinkled with a hazel contour behind a light coating of rapturous tears. 

"You are so gorgeous. I don't tell you that enough."

"I love you so much," she whispered with bated breath as he continued to envelop her with kisses.

Her arms tightened around his back as he adjusted himself to enter her slowly, increasing his pace almost immediately. They moved together, their bodies reacting to the friction between them. He twisted his hips with each thrust, grazing her center. Her heels dug into his flesh to pull him in closer.

He positioned himself for the deepest penetration, bringing both of them to the brink of ecstasy. Her eyes popped open as he withdrew almost completely. Before she could speak, he pushed himself in again in one swift movement, rubbing against her and causing her to tremble with pleasure. He held her firmly, his mouth sucking lightly on the side of her neck until the she stopped shaking.

Her fingers stroked his hair, separating the strands with ease. Her hips still rose to meet his gentle thrusts, encouraging him to let go. She framed his face with her hands and brought him down for a long, passionate kiss, holding him close as he began to lose control.

He collapsed on top of her, tired and breathless with his face buried in her neck while she rubbed soothing circles on his back. He grabbed her and rolled them both over until she rested comfortably on top. Her head relaxed on his chest and for several minutes the only sound between them was his heartbeat echoing in her ear.

"It had been a while, hadn't it?" 

"Yes, it had. Six and a half weeks to be exact." It was no surprise that he had been keeping track. It was the only thing that kept him from rushing through it now. He wanted to relish every second of their time together.

Her fingers lightly trailed his chest. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I won't pretend I don't miss you, but I do understand."

"Are you going to be as understanding when I have to jump in the shower in a few minutes?" she asked contritely. 

He lifted his head slightly to look down at her. "No. I thought you were off tonight."

"I said I was off most of the night. I have to go in at midnight." 

Exhaling deeply, he allowed himself to fall back onto the pillow. "With as big a commitment as you people make, it's a wonder there are any doctors out there at all."

"Most people just don't know until it's too late to change careers."

"That must be it," he agreed with a laugh.

Her hands pressing down on him, she lifted her head just high enough to look at him. There it was again, those expressive eyes shining with love. He pulled himself up so their lips could meet for another kiss. 

He was being sweet and reasonable, two qualities she usually adored about her husband. Tonight, they were two qualities that made her feel even guiltier for leaving. 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Christmas Eve

Eleanor Emily Bartlet really did love her father. She loved it when he bounced her up and down, tossing her into the air every so often, but only when her mother wasn't looking. She giggled at the roughness of his stubble when he rubbed his cheek against hers. She laughed outright when he tickled her or playfully planted raspberries on her tummy. 

She was content in his arms, most of the time. But tonight, she wanted Abbey. With every shriek and cry, it was obvious she wanted Abbey. Jed cringed at the sound, knowing the only person that could dry her tears was the one person who wasn't there to hold her. 

It was hard most nights. Tonight, it was damn near impossible not to miss Abbey. 

A small pile of torn wrapping paper sat next to the tree, evidence that he had allowed the girls to each open one present. Lizzie sat on the sofa, her new satin robe wrapped around her, absently staring at Frosty The Snowman on television. The giant plush Santa that had been meant to cheer Ellie up, didn't do the job. The toddler was only distracted for mere minutes before she tossed it aside and whined for her mother. 

She temporarily calmed herself when Jed sat her down with a box of crystal-made candycanes as he and Lizzie strung up the lights. Unlike her big sister, Ellie wasn't fascinated by the magic of the flickering colors. She remained glued to her seat, entranced by the small beads that bent forward in her tiny palms. 

Jed picked her up and held her close to the tree so Liz could guide her hand towards the branch from which her ornament would hang. 

"Way to go Ellie! You did it!" She turned in his arms and clapped her hands, acknowledging his praise as he squeezed her tight.

"Izzie's turn," she replied.

"That's right. It's Lizzie's turn. Go ahead, Angel."

Lizzie stepped on tips of her toes to reach the middle of the six-foot tree. Jed held her branch for her as she slid the ornament into place. "Okay, your turn, Daddy."

"I think I'll wait until Mom comes home." He hid his frustration before Liz could pick up on it. "But we still have more icicles and candy canes that need to be properly distributed before we get to the tinsel."

"Ellie can do the tinsel!" Lizzie offered. 

"I'm sure she can." Jed lowered her to the ground and handed her a handful of the shiny silver strands. 

Ellie looked down at them tangled around her hands, then looked back at him, bewildered by what he was asking of her. Her confusion was so precious that Jed couldn’t help but chuckle.

"Here, Ellie. I'll show you." Elizabeth kneeled down in front of her baby sister.

Watching his daughters decorate the tree, sent a warm tingle down Jed’s spine. These were the Christmastime traditions he had always hoped to start when he had his own family. There was just one thing wrong, something he couldn't shake no matter how hard he tried. 

He expected that Abbey would be working holidays as a doctor, but he didn't know her absence would make him feel this way. It wasn't just that he missed her or that he preferred having her there. It was a genuine longing for the picture-perfect holiday scene he had conjured up in his mind, a scene created by memories of Christmases past, when he and Abbey stayed up late eating the cookies and drinking the milk Lizzie always left out, wrapping gifts from Santa, and cuddling in the dark on the sofa, gazing at the flickering lights on the tree. 

But tonight, he was the one to put the girls to bed. He rummaged through the closet alone for the presents he and Abbey had hidden and then he sat alone in the dark and ate the cookies and milk that Ellie and Lizzie had left for Santa. 

He stood in front of the sink later, rinsing out his glass when he finally heard the door open. With a few steps out of the kitchen and a quick glance, he saw the back of her head as she turned to shut the door behind her.

"Hi." His eyes fell back to the glass, but he heard her gentle footsteps approaching.

"Hi."

"You're late."

"I know."

"You might want to call me when that happens in the future so that I won't, you know, worry."

"Sorry," she said softly. Perhaps if he wasn't angry he would have realized the hesitation in her voice, he would have known that something was wrong. 

But he missed it.

"It’s one thing to not be able to make it to Christmas mass, but the girls had to go to sleep without even getting to say goodnight to you. Tonight of all nights."

"I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty."

He dried his hands on a dry towel, but never looked up to make eye contact. "If you feel guilty, Abbey, then do something about it!"

She ignored his cold tone and instead scanned the room, focusing on the pizza box in the middle of the dining table. She opened the top revealing two slices left over. "Pizza? On Christmas Eve?"

"I burned the chicken and didn't want to cook the turkey we bought for tomorrow. Everything else was closed. I had no choice."

"Pizza." She fumbled with the box, turning it slightly. 

"You know what, Abbey, if you're not here then you don't get to judge," he snapped. She raised her head to meet his stare. He hadn't seen it before, but he was seeing it now. Her eyes were shiny with tears and her bottom lip quivered. Something was wrong. "What happened?"

She stiffened up and changed direction. "I'm going to go check on the girls."

He grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away. Surprisingly, she didn't resist. She always resisted when she was angry. This time, she floated right into his arms, pressing her face into his body to muffle her cries as her tears began to fall. He wrapped himself around her protectively as if trying to shield her from the world, from whatever had upset her so deeply. 

He didn't ask the question. Tormented by curiosity, he still didn't ask the question. He just stroked her back and ran his fingers through her hair until her sobs melted away. 

And when he did finally speak, it was to beg her forgiveness for snapping at her so harshly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

She pulled away from him and shook her head. "It's not you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Her back to him, she picked up a tissue to wipe any residual tears. He saw her shudder as she tried to hold herself together. 

“I don’t know.”

"You don't have to." She spun towards him, but didn't answer. He extended his arms, inviting her into another embrace. "Come here."

"You remember Laura Torres?" Her cheek was crushed against his shoulder and the words barely escaped her lips. 

"Car accident, right?"

She nodded. "She was getting better. She was finally able to breathe on her own and we thought she might even go home for Christmas." 

He tightened his hold as she turned her head to bury her wet eyes into his chest. “Yeah?”

"She died tonight." And then she cried again. 

Abbey had seen patients pass away. She had seen them deteriorate to the point where death was inevitable. She had also seen some regain their strength, then take a turn for the worst. But they had never been *her* patient. She had always been part of a team of doctors, never in charge, always just learning how to administer medical care. 

She took pride in Laura Torres. For two weeks, she had wavered between life and death. When her condition improved, it was a personal victory for Abbey, not because she had saved a patient, but because she had saved a woman's life. She had given a husband back his wife; she had given two sons back their mother. 

And like a cruel twist of fate, the recovery was over. Her puncture wound caused air to collect between her lung and her chest and in just minutes, her condition worsened, leaving her -- and Abbey -- to fight for her life. 

They both lost. 

Only, Abbey was left to wonder if she could have done more. She was left to contemplate where Laura Torres's medical care went wrong. She wasn't just left with remorse. She was left with regrets.

"Honey, it was out of your hands," he told her repeatedly.

"You don't know that! There may have been something I overlooked. I should have been monitoring her continuously."

"It wasn't your fault." 

She pushed him away in a flash of misdirected anger. "How do you know it wasn't my fault? How do you know I did everything right? You weren't there. You didn't see her. You didn't see how much she had improved, how happy her family was to take her home for Christmas!"

"You're right. I wasn't there. And if I had been, could I have helped?"

"Jed."

"Abbey, answer me. Is there anything I could have done?"

"Stop it."

"There isn't, is there? Is there?"

"You're not a medical doctor!"

And that's what it came down to, at least for Abbey. She had, subconsciously, misjudged the power of her knowledge and now, she was in for a dose of reality. 

After another forty-five minutes of consoling her with his words and his loving touch, her anger had faded enough to let Jed help her to the sofa. "Can I get you anything? Some water? Something to eat? I bet you haven't eaten at all tonight."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to have something. I ordered you a sandwich. Turkey on rye. Your favorite. And I made some steamed veggies."

"A sandwich?"

"You didn't really think I'd make you eat pizza."

She lowered her head with a smile. "I won't be able to keep anything down."

"You don’t want to try?" he whispered in defeat as he took his seat next to her. 

"All I want tonight is you."

He stretched himself out, laying back against the armrest with his arms reaching for her. She snuck her head under his hand, cuddled up close to his chest. He didn't dare close his eyes until he was sure she had fallen asleep. 

They would talk more tomorrow. Tonight, her emotionally drained body needed time to regroup. 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Abbey stood in front of her mirror and vigorously rubbed her palms together before lifting her leg to apply the cream. Jed sat back on the bed, watching her, just as he had countless times before. 

He loved the scent of the vanilla lotion, the way she smothered it on her legs, her arms, and her neck, leaving only a hint of the aroma lingering throughout the room when she was finished. And he really loved to smell it on her when she rested beside him in bed. 

She clipped the cap and turned to see his coy smile. "What?"

"Come here," he replied with extended hands.

She approached him with her lotion bottle ready, assuming she knew what he was asking. At the end of the day, his hands were usually dry too and though he didn't like to admit it, he sometimes gave in to her persistence and indulged in her cream.

Holding his palm steady, she tipped the bottle, dispensing the lotion onto his skin then covering his hands with her own, massaging it in with her fingers. 

His expression didn't change, his eyes still locked into hers. When she finished, he reached for her arm and pulled her down on top of him.

"Jed!" 

He grabbed the lotion from her hands as she rolled to her side. "Take off your shirt and get comfortable."

"I'm tired." 

Since she was being uncooperative, he unbuttoned her top and allowed it to fall to the side. "Roll over." 

More reluctance on her part. He gripped her hips and rolled her onto her stomach as he ran his fingertips along the small of her back and straddled her legs.

"I'm really not in the mood..."

"The only thing that's required of you tonight is to relax. Nothing else," he whispered into her ear, following it with a kiss to her cheek. 

His hands gathered the soft dark auburn waves that hung carelessly around her shoulders. He pulled them up into a clip before saturating his hands with the cream. 

Like magic, the tension inside of her seemed to evaporate with just his touch. She did as he asked, allowing her labored breath to slow down as her muscles began to loosen. 

"That feels so good."

"It should. I don't think I've ever seen you this tense."

It had been a rough couple of weeks. Abbey had barely recovered from the loss of Laura Torres to face her other patients. She had pushed the overwhelming feelings of helplessness and grief to the back of her mind to get through her job. Then when she returned home, those same emotions consumed her thoughts and invaded her dreams.

She assumed that he didn't know. But he did.

Jed always knew when she had a restless night, when her tossing and turning was so intense that he'd swear she's awake. He'd turn to look at her then and realize she was still asleep, probably plagued by nightmares. He'd reach out his hand to comfort her, but she'd pull back, away from him, still as fidgety as ever.

Tonight was going to be different. Tonight, he was committed to doing whatever necessary to ensure her a peaceful slumber. 

He continued massaging the cream into her back, his fingers kneading the tightness around her spine. 

She took another deep breath, but this time, instead of exhaling, she kept it in, preparing herself for the answer to a question she had been pondering for days. "Jed?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitated again, phrasing the sentence in her mind before speaking. "What would you do if I died?" Well, that wasn't exactly the way she planned it. "I mean, how would you go on? How long would it take you to be able to..." 

She was struggling with every word.

He lowered his head, contemplating his answer, the only real answer being to ignore the question and interrupt her from her uncomfortable rambling. "Don't."

"Seriously. I want to know. Have you thought about it?"

He clasped his hands together for a second to get rid of the unused lotion. "It's not something I think about, no."

"But if it happened..."

"Abbey, stop it. Don't do this to yourself." He fell onto his back beside her and stared into her eyes, saddened by the pent-up frustration they reflected. They remained silent for several minutes, only their facial expressions revealing their innermost fears. "If I ever lost you, my world would fall apart."

Her fingers glided effortlessly down the length of his arm until their hands were joined. "Me too," she said with a firm squeeze.

"It wasn't your fault." He had spent days telling her that, hoping that eventually, it would sink in and she'd relinquish the guilt that was building inside.

"I know that. I know that. I just can't stop thinking about her husband and her kids; what are they doing right now, what have these last few days been like for them."

" Why are you torturing yourself?" He paused as she flipped onto her back. "Do you remember the first time you ever saved a patient?" She didn't answer. She didn't have to. They both knew she did. "I remember it like it was yesterday, the look on your face, the tears in your eyes when you rushed home to tell me what happened. And then you looked offended that I had the nerve to praise you. You said 'Jed, I'm not responsible for what happened. That responsibility falls on God and on him for fighting for his life, not me. All I did was what I was taught to do.' You remember?"

"What's your point?"

"You never take the credit when you save a human being's life. You never took credit for saving my life in that alleyway in Boston."

So that's where he was going with this. "Were you laying here when I said I know this isn't my fault? Did you even hear me say that?"

"I did."

"So...?"

"I'm just reminiscing, that's all." His little way of alerting her that he knew her too well to be duped by superficial words.

"Yeah." Her way of telling him the same.

Despite every personal and professional rule, it wasn't uncommon for Abbey to develop a special bond with her patients. But now, she was more determined than ever to adhere to the strict guidelines of bedside manner, and that resolve went a long way in lifting the burden that had been weighing her down. 

She no longer wondered when it was that some doctors lost their warmth. She was no longer curious how it was that they could be so cold and disconnected from those they were treating. 

Now it all made sense. It was so obvious. 

Without another word, Jed slipped his hand under her belly and twisted her towards him. His arms formed a V around her body, his masculine frame enveloping her almost completely. He released the clip around her hair, stroking her tresses as they fell back down. 

"I love you," he said softly with a kiss to her head. 

She won the battle with her conscious that night. Snuggled securely in her husband's embrace, she succumbed to the fatigue inside her, sleeping soundly, comfortably, until morning. 

\- - -

When the sun peeked through the blinds and Abbey stirred closer to Jed, his arms instinctively clutched her. Her eyes opened with his gentle squeeze and she glanced at him. He was still asleep. She gingerly brushed aside a few strands of his light brown hair that had fallen over his forehead. Tired and groggy, he reluctantly woke up.

"Good morning."

"It's morning already?"

"I'm afraid so."

"I need five more minutes." 

"Jed, we have a busy day today. Nanny candidates will be here in a few hours. You can't go back to sleep."

"Who said anything about sleep?" He tightened his grip around her waist. "I just want to cuddle."

Tender and affectionate, Jed may have won her heart ten years earlier, but it swelled to twice its normal size whenever he showered her with platonic expressions of love. So what if they hadn't been intimate since election night? He never pushed. He complained a few times, but each time, he quickly relented in the face of her exhaustion. Instead, he pulled her into his arms to cuddle.

It frequently dawned on Abbey how lucky she was, how comforting it was knowing she had a loving husband to go home to at the end of the day while many of her colleagues were burdened with troubled marriages, barely surviving due to the strains of residency. 

"Abbey?" he called out, interrupting her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. It's getting late." She ripped the covers off their bodies, exposing them to the cooler air. 

"We still have time."

"I have to take a shower before Ellie gets up."

He rolled onto his side when she departed from his arms. "Yeah, well, wake me up later then."

"I don't think so," she said with a smack on his rear. "You need to get ready too. You have to watch the girls while I run to the hospital."

"It's your day off."

"I know. I'm just dropping off some paperwork for Dr. Nolan." She couldn't help but laugh when he buried his head in the sheets and hugged his pillow tightly. "Jed? Seriously, Honey, you have to get up."

"I'm up."

With a smile, she retreated into the bathroom. Jed sat up against the headboard, his eyes glued to the bathroom door. Suddenly energized, he sprang from the bed and grabbed a towel on his way to join her. 

\- - -

That afternoon, Jed sat at the table with Ellie squirming in his arms. A chess board in front of him, he tried hard to demonstrate the rules to Lizzie. Candyland had been retired to the back of the closet and it was now time for the eight-year-old to learn Daddy's game. 

"Okay, Lizzie go ahead." He urged her to begin, even though he could see the hesitance in her face. "No, no, no," he scolded as soon as she made her move. "What you did right there, it's called the Queen's Gambit. A beginner should never, ever do that."

"But that's what I want to do!"

"Lizzie, trust me on this. As Richard Reti said, knowledge of tactics is the foundation of positional play. You may not win as many games at first, but you will be amply compensated by acquiring a thorough knowledge of the game."

He might as well have been speaking in French. She probably would have understood more of what he was saying. "I don't like this game!" 

"Give it a chance."

"No! I hate it!"

Oblivious to her big sister's tantrum, Ellie reached onto the board and picked up the black pawn. She had just stuck it in her mouth when Jed tried to release her grip. 

"ELLIE, STOP IT!" Lizzie shouted.

"Lizzie, don't snap at her! She's just a baby. Ask her for it nicely."

"Ellie, can I have the game piece please?"

Motivated by Ellie's blank stare, Lizzie leaned over the table and tried to snatch it out of her hands. The two-year-old jerked away as she burst into tears.

"Aw, it's okay, Princess. Lizzie's just playing. She's not going to take it away from you." He returned Liz's glare as he patted Ellie's back. "I'm going to put her down for her nap."

Lizzie dragged her feet to the sofa and plopped down on the cushion, her arms folded in front. 

When Jed returned, he put the pawn back on the table and joined her. "You know when she takes things, she always returns them if you ask her for it."

"I did ask her for it and she didn't give it to me."

"You didn't give her a chance. If she doesn't give something back, then you let me find a way to get it without upsetting her. She's a baby, Lizzie. You have to be patient. You were just as fussy when you were her age." With a roll of her eye, she turned from her father. "What's going on? You've been cranky all day."

"Nothing," she lied.

“Come on.”

“Nothing!”

"Okay. When you're ready to talk, you let me know."

She watched as he went to the table to pick up the chess pieces. Several minutes of silence passed before she finally opened her mouth. 

"I don't want a nanny! I want you and Mommy. Why can't you be here to watch us, like now?"

Jed stopped what he was doing and went back to the sofa. "Lizzie, for the next several months, I'm going to be driving back and forth from Concord practically every week. We talked about this, remember? I'm going to be..."

"...going to the Capitol because you're going to represent our city for the whole entire state."

"Our district, yes. And in order for me to do that, we need someone here whenever your mom's at work." He was sitting on the floor, staring up at her with his chin resting on the cushion beside her. "A nanny isn't exactly like a babysitter. She'll be like your friend, like a cool big sister."

"I don't want a big sister."

"Everyone wants a big sister."

"Well, I don’t! What if she's mean?"

"She won't be mean. Your mother and I would never hire anyone mean to take care of you girls."

"But she won't be mean in front of you. She'll be nice. Then when you leave, she'll be mean to me...or to Ellie."

Jed picked himself up and sat next to her. He brushed her hair away from the side of her face. "Sweetheart, that isn't going to happen."

"But it might. Ellie doesn't listen. And she cries a lot. What if the nanny doesn't like that? What if she doesn't like her and she yells at her? And then I get mad that she yelled at Ellie and then she yells at me?"

“Oh, Sweetheart. You know Ellie’s really lucky to have a big sister who would look out for her and defend her the way I know you would. But you don’t have to worry about stuff like this because the very first time you feel uncomfortable with this nanny, she’s out the door. Got it?”

“Yeah.” She wasn’t yet convinced.

"Do you want to sit with Mom and me when we interview the candidates? The three of us can pick one together, one that we all like."

"Really?" She was surprised, yet excited, by his offer.

"Really," he affirmed. 

He mentally kicked himself for not including her from the start. Elizabeth was a precocious child, one who had stayed up every night to help Jed prepare Abbey for her medical boards, who knew she had some influence in Ellie's conception, who loved that she had some say in Ellie's name. 

The idea of a nanny bothered her, but what irked her more was believing her feelings on the subject didn't matter. But with her father's reassurance and her inclusion in the hiring process, she was willing to give it a chance, at least for now. 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Round One

Abbey sprinted from room to room in a last-ditch effort to ensure the house looked perfect. Of course she knew they were the ones conducting the interviews, but making a good impression was always a priority, regardless of circumstance. 

Jed and Liz sat comfortably on the sofa, their eyes following her scurried form in every direction. 

"Honey, anytime you want to take a break and join us..."

"We're hiring a nanny when what we need is a housekeeper."

"That's next on our list," Jed returned sarcastically. 

Abbey shot him a glare as she rushed to open the door and greet the first candidate. Liz and Jed anxiously leaned forward then jumped to their feet to see the woman's face with her first step inside. 

Amanda Presley.

The twenty-something woman was quite well-dressed in a peach colored St. John knit suit under her beige wool coat. Her shiny blonde hair fell just past her shoulders in bouncy curls. Taken by her professional, sleek appearance, Abbey immediately offered her a seat and a cup of tea as Jed began flipping through her paper resume, noting her extensive background in music.

"I'm sorry.” Unable to hide his enthusiasm, he interrupted the chatter between the two women. “You're a classical musician?"

"Yes, I am," Amanda replied. "I've already been accepted to Julliard. I just have to scrape together the cash."

"What instrument do you play?"

"Well, I dabble with the violin, but my instrument of choice is the piano."

His right brow rose slightly with interest. "What's your favorite piece?"

"Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata."

Jed’s brows creased as he squinted his eyes in response. "Hmm, interesting, interesting. Myself, I've always been partial to the Appassionata. The Pathetique was written too early in Beethoven's career. You might as well be playing Mozart. The Appassionata, now there's a piece of music that's truly inspirational."

"You consider Beethoven the first Romantic composer, do you?"

"No. Unlike many music historians, I consider him to have bridged Romantic and Classical and ushered in Romanticism."

Amanda’s nose wrinkled with a smile. "Do you play?"

"Me? No, not really. When it comes to the piano, I'm the master of Chopsticks and that's about it. But I sure do love to listen."

"I can see why. It's so relaxing. Cleansing. Good for the soul. For children too. Does she listen?" Amanda asked, looking at Elizabeth, but not addressing her. 

"No." Lizzie gave a solid answer.

"Well, we'll be listening to plenty of music around here." She turned her attention back to Jed. "And none of it will contemporary, I assure you. Classical music will help open up her mind. It's never more important than when she’s at this age."

"I agree with that," Abbey added in an effort to push her way into the exclusive conversation. "But listening to music won't be the only thing you'll be doing."

"Of course not. It's really important for children to be as well-rounded as possible." 

Sounded promising. 

"So we can play games?" Lizzie shared a smile with her mother as Jed sat silently, listening.

"Games?" Amanda looked a bit confused about the meaning of the word. "Well, sure. We can make a game out of anything. We'll spend some evenings learning about Greek mythology. We can do trivia on that. We'll talk about religious teachings, all the good stuff."

"Greek mythology?" Lizzie wasn't even sure she knew what it was and she had very little desire to learn.

"Of course! We'll have lots of fun comparing Greek and Roman mythology. I can recite Roman myths in Latin, you know."

"Really?" Jed was positively beaming.

"Oh, absolutely."

He tossed her resume onto the coffee table and stood up with purpose. "Well, Amanda, I don't think there's any use in continuing this..."

"That's right," Abbey interjected, realizing her husband was about to make a job offer she didn't want made. "We have many candidates to speak to today. We'd like to thank you for coming by. We'll get back to you."

Abbey helped her up and led her to the door. 

Jed watched in confusion as his wife ushered her out. When the door closed, he declared, "She's perfect!" 

"DADDY!" Lizzie complained.

“What?”

"She is NOT perfect!” Abbey informed him. “She doesn't know the first thing about a little girl's likes and dislikes. Lizzie needs someone who can talk to her at her level."

"What's wrong with broadening her horizons?"

"Nothing, as long as there's a fair balance."

“There is.”

“Not with her, there isn’t. I’m not comfortable with her.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“No, I’m not. This is the most important decision we have to make at this point in our lives. I’m not going to leave my children with a woman who doesn’t inspire one-hundred percent confidence.”

“We’ll re-interview her. I’m sure once we get to know her...”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. She just isn’t right for the job.”

"Abbey."

Liz ran to her mother's side. "Two against one."

Abbey chuckled. "Sorry, Jed. You're overruled."

"You little traitor." He spoke to his daughter with a teasing voice. "It's because of me you even get a vote in this." 

Lizzie giggled as Abbey brushed by him on her way to rinse out the cup of tea in the kitchen. 

"Jed, she isn't qualified to be a nanny. She is, however, qualified to be your little friend. If you like, I can call and ask if she wants to come over to play with you next weekend." 

If there was one thing Jed hated more than anything else in the world, it was being mocked. 

"Not funny, Abigail. I'm an adult, you know. I don't need your permission. I can hire her myself," he replied defiantly, following her to the sink.

"Yes you can. But won't you look a little silly taking your nanny with you to the State House?"

He pushed her out of the way and ran his fingers under the water, flicking them at her. The drops hit her right in the face as she laughed and squirmed from his hold. 

\- - -

Round Two

Jed opened the door to the raven-haired woman outside. She smiled delightfully as she walked inside, passing by him with an unmistakable air of confidence. She wasn't an ordinary nanny. At first glance, this woman was extremely capable. She was older. She looked wiser. 

Perhaps it was the dark hair pulled back into a bun, or her long statuesque frame that held her black wool coat. He wasn't sure. But if she had been carrying a black umbrella, he would swear she was a modern-day Mary Poppins. 

Margaret Wolfe took her place in the hotseat, her legs crossed at the ankles and her hands folded properly in her lap. 

"I think I should go through a list of my own expectations before we continue." A blunt introduction indeed, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"Please, feel free," Abbey replied. 

"I expect the children to be on their best behavior at all times. Children Elizabeth's age should learn proper etiquette for every situation. This includes dining, meeting with friends, or just watching television. If I see that she's fallen off the fray just a tad, I believe it is my job and my responsibility to rein her back in."

Jed watched Elizabeth scrunch her nose at the sound of that. It occurred to him that Mary Poppins wasn't the ideal nanny either. After all, the last thing he wanted to see was his two daughters dancing on the roof. 

"By ‘rein her back in' you mean?" he asked. 

"I mean guide her, show her the proper way for a young lady to behave."

That's reasonable, Abbey thought. "So you consider yourself a teacher?"

"Of course. What nanny isn't?"

"And a playmate as well? Lizzie loves board games and Ellie, she really enjoys puzzles."

"I can be a playmate, as long as the children adhere to the rules."

Jed was a bit more apprehensive. "What kind of rules?"

"One hour of activity every night. The rest of the time should be spent doing homework or reading a book."

"That's not a bad rule," Abbey nodded. "Perhaps a bit rigid..."

"It has to be rigid. Children should know what's expected of them. There shouldn't be any doubt. An undisciplined child is an unruly child and unruly children are to be dealt with. Once that happens, everyone's unhappy."

"I'm sorry. Dealt with?" Jed and Abbey both sat on the edge of their seats eagerly awaiting the answer to this one.

"Yes. Spare the rod, spoil the child."

And that was that. 

\- - -

Round Three

"You don't seem to have any experience as a nanny," Jed commented as he looked over the resume of Electra Cummings.

She sat on the sofa, quite comfortable in her black stretch pants and oversized T-shirt. She eyed him, curiously, her stringy bangs bouncing slightly every time she blinked. 

"Oh, not in this life. But in my previous life, I was a Presidential nanny."

Overlooking the reference to reincarnation, something else caught his attention. "A presidential nanny?"

"Yes, Sir. At the White House."

Abbey went back to the reincarnation. "Your previous life?"

"Yes."

"Okay. So, what do you do in this life?"

"Oh you mean aside from concocting potions?" Her smile faded as she stared into the serious expressions staring back at her. "I'm kidding. Seriously, I do whatever I can to get by wherever I am."

"Wherever you are? Are you going to tell me you're a gypsy?" Abbey asked jokingly.

"Oh no, Ma'am. I'm not a gypsy. Born and raised in New Hampshire. I like it here."

"Good."

"No, I'm not a gypsy," she repeated as she fingered the multicolored beads that lined her neck. "I am a witch though."

"A witch?" Abbey wasn't one to give in to stereotypes. She kept an open mind, not allowing her opinions to be manipulated. But when she saw Jed’s unamused expression, she attempted to lighten his mood. "So you're religious then?"

"No, not at all. I don't believe in organized religion of any kind. But I respect those who do." Electra knew the right thing to say. It was little comfort, though, considering what was coming next. "But I do have supernatural powers. I love magic."

Lizzie leapt to her feet, energized by this bit of information. "NEAT! Can you cast spells and everything?"

"Why yes, I can. I can wiggle my nose too." She leaned over to look the eight-year-old in the eye as she put on a demonstration. "See?"

"Just like Samantha!" 

Jed jumped in front of an excited Liz. "Lizzie." 

"Well, yes, just like Samantha. Aren't you a little young to have seen that show?"

"Uh uh. It comes on every morning on Channel Seven."

Abbey wrapped her arms around Liz from behind, resting her chin on top of her daughter’s head. "Reruns."

Electra nodded as she approached the young girl. "I'll tell you a secret, Lizzie. I'm looking into having my name legally changed to Samantha and my boyfriend's to Darren." 

"Mommy, I LIKE her!" 

Liz's smile expanded with delight, provoking Jed's interference before Electra could begin referring to her as Tabitha. "Well, we will definitely get back to you, Electra."

"Okay." As Jed led her to the door, she stopped suddenly and turned sharply to face him. "Something's wrong. I feel enormous tension in this room. It's not good."

"Tension?" Well, at least she got that right. Maybe there was something to be said for magical powers.

"Yes," she replied seriously. "I can quickly get rid of it, if you'll allow me."

"To do what?"

She balled up her hand, allowing all her fingertips to touch, then opened it swiftly as she aimed towards Jed's face with a violent jerk of her arm. Initially shocked by the move, his eyes sprung open to twice their normal size. She crunched her hand again and Jed ducked just as she repeated the move before leaving.

Abbey shut the door behind her with a deep sigh. "Ooookkkkaaaayyyy."

"Mommy, I really like her. She can play with the Ouija board with me!"

"You know you can't use that unless your dad or I help you."

"It's not going to be me,” Jed declared. “I'm still captured in her spell or whatever the hell that was."

"I'm sure it was nothing." Abbey laughed.

"I swear I'm going to have nightmares tonight. What hell was it anyway? A curse of some sort?" He turned his hand towards himself and scrunched it, trying to imitate her gesture. 

He was unsuccessful.

\- - -

Round Four

It had been an exhausting day. Even Lizzie, originally intrigued by the idea of sitting in on the interviews, was starting to tire of the entire process. Eight women had waltzed in the house and been escorted out for a variety of reasons. 

But things were about to change.

This one was different. She sat back against the cushion in a comfortable, relaxing position. The twitching of her hands revealed the nerves she tried desperately to hide as she counted the seconds that passed while Jed and Abbey reviewed her credentials.

"Well," Abbey began.

"Well," Jed repeated. "First of all, do you know anything about reversing a curse?"

She smiled initially, but he wasn't kidding. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing...just...nothing."

Abbey slapped his hand then cleared her throat to draw attention away from her husband. "Paige, is it?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Tell me about yourself. You're a college graduate?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm hoping to start graduate school at Dartmouth next spring."

Cynical about her qualifications, Jed searched for the skeleton he believed she was hiding. "Why in the spring?" 

"I was accepted for the fall, but I had to defer because money is kind of tight."

Good reason. "What will you be studying?"

"I'd like to get my MBA...maybe someday, open my own business."

"That's great. I love ambition," Jed admitted with a nod. "Do you have experience with small children?"

"Yes, Sir. I have two brothers and a sister that I practically raised myself. I come from sort of a nontraditional family. My parents weren't always around." 

Time for the litmus test. Abbey asked, "What are your thoughts on corporal punishment?" 

"Well that's entirely up to the parents. The nanny's job, at least in the capacity for which you're hiring, is to simply resolve immediate problems and leave the actual discipline up to the parents, especially when we're talking about physical discipline." 

She passed. 

She was nice, respectful, intelligent, articulate, and, most importantly, competent. The perfect choice, as far as Abbey was concerned.

But Jed wasn't completely sold just yet. "As you know, my wife's a physician and she's on-call a lot. I might have to spend the night in Concord at times, so you may be required to sleep over now and then. Would that be a problem?"

"Not at all!" Paige answered without hesitation. Her eyes fell to Liz who was captivated by her energy. "Us girls will have a big slumber party." Looking for another reason to interact with the little girl, she turned slightly and noticed the chess board. "Do you play chess, Lizzie?"

"Daddy's teaching me how."

"I taught my little brothers. It's a pretty fun game. Do you like to play games?"

"Yeah!"

"So do I."

Liz tugged on her father's arms, a clear sign that she was giving her approval. Jed exchanged a glance with Abbey and they both settled back against the sofa, comfortable with the decision.

Paige it was. 

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Once Upon A December is a ©Disney song, lyrics by Deana Carter. We're picturing the version that can be found on some ballroom dancing CDs. It's a bit more upbeat and "waltzy." 

\- - -

February 1977

Jed lowered his hands to grasp Elizabeth's palm evenly. He smiled at her as their hands clasped with their fingers threaded and closed around one another. Her left hand gripped his waist and his right rested squarely on her shoulders.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Uh huh." A smile radiated from within her, a clear indication that even though they hadn't even started, she was having a good time. 

"Go for it," he instructed with a turn to Amy, who lowered the arm on the turntable.

Dancing bears,  
Painted wings  
Things I almost remember  
And a song someone sings   
Once upon a December

The music played harmoniously, guitars and mandolins joining to exquisitely execute the backdrop to the childlike vocals as he led Liz around the living room in the Viennese Waltz. One natural turn, rotating to the right, then to the left, then changing direction just before he lifted her up as she nearly tripped between his feet. 

With another spin, he lowered her to the ground and traded Liz for Amy in one flawless motion, usually achieved only by experienced dancers. The young girl looked up at him, curiosity shining through. Jed had gone over the basics with Liz, but it was obvious that Amy had never danced before. He put her at ease with a reassuring fatherly smile, and helped her onto his feet, supporting her with his hands as they flounced around the makeshift dance floor.

Someone holds me safe and warm   
Horses prance through a silver storm   
Figures dancing gracefully   
Across my memory 

He glided back towards the starting point and spun a giggling Amy under his hand and onto the sofa just in time to turn his attention to Ellie. The toddler sat on the floor completely entranced in what was happening. He hoisted her up and twirled her into the air with a firm grip just under her arms. Her soft, strawberry blond curls hugged her cheeks, and when she looked down at her father adoringly, a big smile and twinkling blue-green eyes captivated his emotions. 

Far away, long ago   
Glowing dim as an ember   
Things my heart   
Used to know   
Once upon a December 

As Jed continued to whirl around the room with Ellie, Liz placed her hands on Amy's shoulder. Amy mimicked the moves Liz demonstrated in an effort to teach her what she knew. 

Far away, long ago   
Glowing dim an as ember   
Things my heart   
Used to know   
Things it yearns to remember 

And a song   
Someone sings... 

"She's coming!" And with the shine of headlights glaring through the window, Liz's voice cut through the music. 

Jed lowered Ellie into his arms and Amy hustled to turn off the music before running to take her seat opposite Jed at the table. 

"Not a word," he said as he looked at the two eight-year-olds. "That goes for you too, Goldilocks. You keep your mouth shut." 

"Okay," Ellie replied with a girlish laugh. 

Abbey's entrance was met with feigned surprise. Amy and Liz shared a seat as partners teaming up to outwit Jed at chess. Ellie squirmed and reached out for her mother almost immediately.

"Jed, really. Are you making them play?" she asked, taking Ellie into her arms.

"They're enjoying it."

"Hmm, I think you're enjoying it a lot more than they are."

"We're all having fun. Aren't we, girls?"

Amy nodded, but Lizzie never missed an opportunity. "We'll have more fun if you take us out for ice cream!" 

"That's what I thought," Abbey chuckled. "Tell you what, girls. We'll call Mrs. Gardner and if she says Amy can spend the night, I'll take you out for lunch and a movie tomorrow."

"Me too," Ellie interrupted.

She tweaked Ellie's nose in a gesture that was always sure to make her laugh. "And I'll take you to Circus Towne, my little Princess."

"Can we go see Star Wars?" Lizzie asked.

"We'll see."

"She means yes," Jed whispered to the girls. 

Abbey threw him a cautious glare, but conceded to his interpretation of her words. Working as much as she had had opened the door for an enormous amount of guilt and the remorse that weighed down her conscience made her susceptible to manipulation from her two daughters. 

Things were no better for Jed, especially now. He was about to embark on a journey of public service, representing the Ninth District in the state legislature. It would have its ups and downs, the most notable liability being the time he'd need to commit to serving his constituents at the expense of quality time with his family.

But he was prepared. In fact, ready and organized, he had prepared himself for almost everything. 

Almost. 

That night, his own excitement was mirrored in Abbey. A spark of passion dominated her voice and the bright light that shined inside him reflected in her eyes. She was proud. There was no denying that. His accomplishments soaring over his goals, he was like a child ready to take on the world, a hero poised for greatness, a man willing to discard his demons, not in favor of ambition, but out of a sense of duty. 

But that resolve was tested almost immediately.

Jed walked onto the floor of the New Hampshire House the next morning full of energy and focus. This was what democracy was all about. This is what drew his family to politics, what motivated his great ancestor Dr. Josiah Bartlett to sign his name to a document that guaranteed freedom from colonial masters and prevailed as a cherished symbol of liberty.

It was a true calling, not for the ill-willed, but for the committed and competent members of society who are dedicated to the concept of giving back to their communities and leaving a mark, shadowed with the desire to help others, on a world that sometimes exchanges compassion and assistance for, what some would call, superficial gain. 

But something strange was happening. Jed scanned the floor, puzzled by the empty chairs. There were a few colleagues who showed up, most of them dawning the same look of fire that was evident in him that morning. But as the minutes passed on, a couple of them left, now appearing as deflated as he did.

It was his nemesis, Elliot Roush, who was plagued with the burden of explaining the obvious to the freshman lawmakers. In state politics, it isn't dedication to the discussion of ideas that drives some of its members. And in a state like New Hampshire, where legislating is a part-time job, not a professional career, many representatives find a way to bridge the gap between public service and personal ambition only when a vote is riding on their attendance. 

The cold hard truth was a bitter pill to swallow for Jed, a man who had pinned his hopes of making a difference on the foundation of the legislative process. 

By day's end, he was somber and moody, no longer intrigued by the principles that led him to the hallowed chamber. Now he was dwarfed by the decorative landscape and concrete pillars of the once-admired and treasured structure of the State House. 

So this is why so many people are disillusioned with politics and politicians, he surmised. It wasn't that politicians were dishonest. It was that some of them just didn't care enough to be honest. 

When the phone rang back in Hanover, Abbey sprang from her seat. She had waited all day to hear Jed's voice as he enthusiastically recalled the events of his first official day as a representative. She hoped he would carry the same tone he had the day he was sworn into office, that elated inflection consumed with a passionate undercurrent that caused him to catch his breath every so often. 

But he didn't. 

Instead of the jovial attitude she expected, she was greeted with a sadder, more refined Jed, a Jed so obviously disenchanted by his new post that he admitted he regretted ever entering the election in the first place. 

She was worried. She hadn't heard him so depressed in a very long time and the natural concern that took over prompted her to ask him to stay in Concord that night. Jed was never at his best when he was angry or upset. His attention would waver and his emotions, which always guided him, would become a catalyst for disaster. 

Of course, stubborn and opinionated, Jed didn't listen. He made the 65-mile trek without incident - until the last few seconds. His judgment clouded and his vision blurred, he turned into his driveway at full speed, coming to a crashing halt as the front of his car dented the garage door. 

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

The night Abbey Bartlet had envisioned wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a night of relaxation, a night to cheer up her husband and attempt to repair his broken spirit. 

That plan quickly spun out of control. 

She was setting the napkins on the dinner table when she heard the jarring sound. The screeching breaks were unforgettable, but only seconds later, the echo of metal hitting the house was even more sensational. She stood frozen to her spot for a moment, then rushed outside. 

Confronted with the sight of Jed sitting perfectly still, his hands on the steering wheel, staring straight ahead with steely, vacant eyes, sent a chill up her spine. 

"Jed!" She sprinted towards him.

He snapped his head around as he opened his door. "Hi." 

"Hi?" A hand placed under his arm, she helped him up off his seat. 

"I'm sorry."

She brushed aside a few hairs that fell carelessly forward, covering up the small bruise that colored his forehead. "Oh, Jed." 

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not."

"And neither are you." She was shivering from the cold February air. She had rushed out so fast that she didn't bother to grab her jacket. He took off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Abbey, I'm fine. Let's go inside." 

With a nod, she led the way.

"Sit down," she ordered when he followed her through the front door. Even with her back to him, she knew he had picked up his utensils and absently ran his knife between the prongs of his fork. "Put them down."

He acquiesced after a roll of his eyes. Her hands gently grazed his head just before she held the ice pack against his bruise. "Abbey, I barely hit the steering wheel. It's really nothing."

"Don't fight me. You're going to have one hell of a headache later."

"Yes, Doctor." 

The kiss that followed made it obvious she ignored his sarcastic undertone. "It'll be better tomorrow."

"My bruise?"

"Your day."

"What's the point? There's nothing to vote on tomorrow."

Sadness. That was the only way to describe the lack of energy obvious in his crooked posture and somber eyes. A man so moved by vocal expression was now slurring his words, allowing the power behind them to fade without meaning.

"Stop it," she scolded. She wouldn't let herself feel as badly as he did. 

"I'm serious."

"So am I. You go in there with this attitude, Jed..."

"You don't get it, Abbey," he snapped as he grabbed the ice pack out of her hand and set it down on the table. "These people don't care."

She took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding in kind. Retrieving the chicken from the oven, she muttered under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear. "Neither do you."

Insulted by the intentional implication, he replied, "I do," before rising to his feet.

"Show me."

"I'm not one of the girls. You can't pull that reverse psychology crap and expect me to do whatever you want." 

"I don't expect you to do what I want. That's the last thing I expect. And it isn't reverse psychology. I'm sorry you had such a rough day today, but I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you're right, that it's okay to just give up." 

"Who said anything about giving up? I'm not going to resign."

"That's not what I meant. You're giving up on getting your ideas heard. When you got into this race, you did it to make a difference, to represent this community. You told me you weren't in it for the glory or the prestige. You weren't in it to listen to yourself talk."

"And I'm not."

"Doesn't look that way to me. For a man who wasn't in it to listen to the sound of his own voice, you seem awfully upset that no one's there to hear your lecture on democracy."

"Look..."

"No, you look." He took a step back, silenced by the strength in her tone. She always hated getting tough with him, but there were times when it was the only way to reach him. She knew that. So did he. "When you made the decision to run, you asked for my support, and we sat down together and listed the reasons why this was a good thing. Arguing on the floor of the State House was nowhere on that list. So people didn't show up. So what? It just means they're out of it when it comes time to vote."

"It means they're going to vote the way they were planning to! See, this is what I mean when I say you don't understand." Exacerbated and annoyed, he leaned against his chair to catch his breath. "Can't I just be miserable tonight without you analyzing it to death?" 

Probably not, she thought. "No." She adopted a different approach to calm his temper. "Make me understand."

"I got in it to make a difference. The only way I can do that is if I can talk to people, discuss ideas with my colleagues, maybe change their minds about an issue, give them an opportunity to change mine." Always the idealist.

"You can still do that."

"Not if they're not there!" he shouted. "I can't do it if they're not there. We lose that interaction. Don't you get it?"

Raising his voice was always a regrettable part of his personality, but it was undeniably Jed Bartlet. The passion and fire would collide with failed aspirations and raw emotions. And when that happened, everyone usually stepped back. Everyone except Abbey.

"You only lose that interaction if the interaction is solely dependent upon debates at the State House. Do you even know the other democrats in the legislature?" He turned his back to her, his frustration apparent in the way he rubbed his forehead. With a gentle touch, she placed both hands on his shoulders and massaged gently. "I know you met them all in Concord last month, but what would happen if you got to know them outside of work? Develop a bond with them, share your ideas, let them share theirs. We could have a cocktail party here at the house to get things started."

"A cocktail party." He repeated what she said, becoming resigned to it himself.

"I've been thinking about it anyway. This is all new to me too. I'm trying to learn how to be that perfect political wife."

"You already are," he whispered, taking one hand off his shoulder and pressing his lips to her fingers.

"The bottom line is, you got into this for one reason that outweighed all the others. Decisions are made by those who show up. That's what you're teaching out daughters. You still mean it, don't you?"

"Yes. Of course." He loved her smile, even when it was motivated by a feeling of triumph. She won this round. That was obvious. "Where are the girls?" But changing the subject was always better than admitting it.

"Paige came by. She wanted to show them off to her family. They'll be back soon."

"This chicken any good?" he asked as he took his seat at the table and lifted the ice pack to his forehead. Little did he know there was a chocolate cheesecake waiting in the fridge.

"I don't know. I was hoping you'd eat it first." 

He nodded with a laugh. Typical Abbey. Only she knew how to make him feel better. Probably because when he was upset, so was she. When he was hurting, so was she. No one else had the power that she seemed to wield every time he looked into the depths of her emerald eyes. 

He extended his arms and pulled her towards him when she clasped her hands around his. Falling onto his lap, she rubbed her thumb over the purple bump coloring his skin. 

Tonight, she was playing doctor. And he would let her.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

March 1977

Violated by the sharp ray of sunlight, Jed's eyes fluttered, opening only slightly as he stirred under the covers. He turned to his side with an unmistakable grin when he was greeted by her. Abbey lay motionless, a few tendrils of auburn hair accosting her dark lashes. She was absolutely angelic like this, face-down, head turned to the side in his direction with her hands gripping the pillow under her. 

She looked so innocent, so sweet and relaxed. The peaceful slumber made him reluctant to wake her.

His finger gently swept the stray strand from her forehead, inviting a small grin of her own. She was awake. His smile widened as he climbed on top of her, lining up his body with hers. He pulled up her hair and leaned forward to drop a warm kiss on the back of her neck, just where she liked it.

She squirmed from his hot breath, his tongue now nipping lightly at her ear as his hands rested on top of hers. 

"This is a really great way to wake up," she said, her voice groggy and strained.

"I know you need your sleep but I couldn't resist. I feel less guilty now that I know you were already awake," he replied with his mouth still pressed against her skin. 

When he sensed her moving under him in an effort to roll herself over, he relaxed his weight onto his knees, giving her the leeway she needed. She flipped onto her back and stared up at him, giving him full access to the shiny warm depths of her eyes.

"I think we have some time before the girls wake up. I'm sure we could find a way to..." The suggestion for intimacy was left solely up to her, at least lately. Because of her hectic schedule, he wanted it to be that way.

"Are you sure? You're not tired?"

"I'm fine," she insisted as her hands cupped his face to draw his head down for a kiss. 

Their bodies entangled, they rolled together under the sheets and succumbed to the passion that had been building for weeks. The seductive little winks they exchanged daily and the soft, yet sensuous kisses were reminiscent of their courtship, the desire rising to an explosive ending when they finally consummated their relationship for the very first time all those years ago. 

It was a bit different now. The familiarity that came from years of marriage made the youthful outpouring of emotions more stable, their problems more vague. The closeness they shared was the binding force that would keep them together when career aspirations violently crashed with quality time with the family.

But that unbreakable bond between husband and wife couldn't smooth out the speedbumps they faced with their children. 

As Abbey sat Ellie on the kitchen counter to help her fill the picnic basket, Liz lifted herself up to sit next to her sister. 

"Can Ellie climb the monkey bars too?"

"Yes, but only when I'm with her."

"What if I'm with her?"

"I'm afraid not, Sweetie."

Ellie tugged on her mother's shirt to get her attention. "Why Mommy?"

"Because you'll get hurt," Jed interrupted, taking Ellie off the countertop and into his arms just as Abbey's pager started beeping. "Don't."

"I have to." Her voice held a remorseful tone, her eyes apologetic as she reached for the phone. 

It was times like these that overwhelmed Abbey with regret. She had chosen a profession that required so much dedication that a simple picnic with her family could be interrupted at a moment's notice. 

"I'm sorry." It was all she could say when she hung up the phone. 

"No," Jed replied with a deep sigh. 

"I have to go."

After a week of looking forward to the family outing, Liz's disappointment led to outrage. "But we were supposed to go to the park and play in the playground and feed the squirrels! You said we could go! You PROMISED!" 

"I'm sorry, Lizzie. I really am.”

“You’re ALWAYS sorry!”

“I know, Sweetheart.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just this once, go with us! Please.”

“You have no idea how much I wish I could. I can’t, Baby Doll. I really can’t.”

“Fine.”

“You go with Daddy and Ellie and I'll meet up with you later."

Ellie extended her arms towards her mother as Abbey dropped a kiss on top of her head and walked out of the kitchen. Her little sister's whimpers were suddenly silenced by the harsh sound of the picnic basket hitting the floor. Abbey paused and turned back around, her mouth opening in response to Lizzie's outburst.

"Go. I'll take care of this," Jed offered.

“Okay.”

He waited until the door closed behind her before he pulled Liz off the countertop. "That was uncalled for. You're going to help me clean this up."

Lizzie stood back with her arms folded in front of her, refusing to look at her father. "I don't want to."

"I don't care what you want! You’re gonna do it anyway." 

He began to gather the contents, salvaging apple slices, sandwiches, and whatever had been securely wrapped and protected against the fall, then looked up at Liz who hadn't moved from her spot. 

"NOW," he ordered with a firmer tone. “Or else we’re not going on a picnic either.”

She plopped down to the floor reluctantly and started to cry. “I don’t wanna go to the stupid picnic anyway.”

Jed sat beside her and gently ran his hand over her head. "I'm just as disappointed as you are, Lizzie. But this isn't the way to handle it. Your mother and I have told you time and time again, you do not throw things."

"Mommy throws things when she's upset."

"Then I guess I'll have to have this conversation with her too."

"You can't. She's never home. She doesn't even go to church with us anymore." 

His heart broke for the sadness he saw in her deep blue eyes. "Yeah. She's been working a lot, hasn't she? But you know, she's helping people. Every time she goes to the hospital, she helps another little girl whose mommy or daddy might be hurt or in pain. How many of your friends can say that their mothers are saving other people's lives?"

Lizzie shrugged. "None.”

"I know it's hard, but she's doing the very best she can with you and Ellie. Remember we talked about these next few years and how difficult it's going to be?" The young girl nodded, her frown more visible than ever. "I know it sounds like forever, but once her residency is over, she'll have more time to spend with us. And you know, she loves us more than anything in this whole wide world. You believe that, right?" He grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled her towards him, a move that was sure to get a laugh. "Right?" 

It worked. She slid across the kitchen floor with a smile. "Yeah."

With Ellie on one leg, he lifted Liz onto the other. "Do you like Paige? Is she nice?"

"Yeah."

"How about you, Princess? Do you like Paige?" Ellie nodded enthusiastically. "I'm sorry, guys. I know it's not fair that your mom and I are both so busy." He reached behind him into the pantry and pulled out two ring pops. "But today, I'm here. So how about you, Ellie, and I go have some fun at the park?" 

"Okay." Liz's disappointment seemed to disappear when Jed handed her the red sugary treat. 

He turned to Ellie with the purple one. "Okay?"

"Okay!"

\- - -

Sacrifices. 

It was a word Jed tried to avoid because of the negative connotations it brought with it. When they were in London, Abbey was the full-time mom while Jed was in grad school. That all changed when they switched roles after Abbey began medical school. Jed scheduled his classes around her shifts so he could be home with Lizzie. 

They had a deal. 

One of them would always be home for the children. Usually, they came through, but despite their best efforts, occasionally, there were some nights when he was forced to stay in Concord, some nights when Abbey was required to sleep at the hospital. The kids could forgive that. What was more difficult to accept were the other absences, the ones that were unplanned.

Abbey was regularly called away, interrupted in the middle of the day, and the resentment that was born from the long worknights only flourished when she missed things, especially for Liz. Having had her mother all to herself for the first few years of her life, the jarring reality that hit her now was a tough adjustment. 

Torn between her ambition and her family, Abbey feared the sacrifices she made now would only damage her role as a mother later. She often shed tears when confronted with the realization. But after several minutes, she'd swallow her cries and continue, thanking God for blessing her children with such a wonderful father.

As for Jed, in some respects, he learned to be Mr. Mom. Every now and then, he'd step back and take pride in the fact that he had gotten used to solving problems on his own. Ten years ago, he never would have believed he'd develop the kind of fatherly skills needed to deal with his headstrong daughter. 

But now, he was doing it fairly well. It didn't matter that he often supplemented his lectures and heart-to-hearts with a sweet snack in the interest of maintaining harmony. It was worth it.

Abbey thought so too. But instead of sweet snacks, she usually came bearing gifts.

That evening, as Jed and Liz sat across a chess board from one another, Jed's mind wandered briefly every time Ellie found a new toy to keep her occupied. At first, he didn't realize Liz had attacked his King. It wasn't until he heard her sweet voice with a hint of a smug chuckle that he got nervous.

"Checkmate."

Jed stared at her for a moment, then looked down at the board. Perplexed, he looked back up at her, and then back down at the board once again. "What?"

"Checkmate," she repeated. "They crisscrossed." To his surprise, her Bishops had trapped his King. He was speechless. "Daddy?"

"How? Where did you learn that?"

"Paige showed me."

Ah, the evil little do-gooder. A moment of silence passed as he contemplated his frustration over being outsmarted by an eight-year-old. "So you're really happy with Paige?"

"Yeah."

"Because if you're not, we can find you someone else, you know.” He muttered under his breath, “Preferably someone who doesn’t play chess."

"Daddy!" She laughed at his tone, stopping herself when Abbey walked through the door.

Ellie jumped to her feet and ran to her mother. Scooping her up in one arm, Abbey approached Liz cautiously. "Hi."

"Hi," she replied, a small bit of anger still apparent.

"Is everything okay?" Jed asked. "Your patient..."

"Yeah, it's fine now. I'm sorry I couldn't meet you at the park." She lowered Ellie and smoothed the top of Liz's hair as she leaned forward to give her a kiss. "I'm really sorry, Lizzie." 

“I know.”

When Liz traced the edge of the chess board silently, Abbey made another attempt at getting her forgiveness. "I have a whole week off this summer. I thought maybe we could go to the farm. We could have a picnic every afternoon, go horseback riding, hiking, anything you want."

“Will we still go to Acadia?”

"Acadia or one of the other national parks. This will be a week in addition to that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I'm just sorry I ruined today." 

"It's okay." It didn't seem to bother Abbey that it took three apologies to get that response. She was elated about the little girl's cheerfulness. "I beat Daddy at chess!"

"You did?"

Jed cleared his voice deliberately. "We'll get into that later."

Throwing him a smile, Abbey headed back towards the door. "In the meantime, I have a surprise for the girls." 

A large box glided across the carpet as Abbey pushed it from behind. Liz and Ellie stood frozen with wide eyes filled with excitement as they realized it sheltered a life-sized doll house. 

"Is that ours?"

"Yes, it is."

"Me too?" Ellie had to be sure before she joined her sister in ripping the cardboard apart.

"Yours too."

"Come on, Ellie." Liz invited her to help. "We have to put it together first!" 

It didn't go unnoticed that while the girls played joyfully, assisting Abbey in opening the box and revealing the hundreds of small pieces inside, Jed sat on the sofa with a straight face. He was unamused. 

Abbey had done this before. To compensate for her guilt about leaving her daughters, she showered them with expensive gifts. Initially, it didn't bother him, but it was now becoming a routine. Liz had developed quite a talent for acting out as a response to disappointment, and while her motivation may not have been manipulating her mother, Abbey usually returned home with a handful of goodies in an effort to make peace.

He worried about the fallout it would eventually cause. He worried about Abbey, about that pain that ate away at her every time she walked out the door, and the pain that wouldn't quite go away even after her generous gifts were well-received. 

He had tried to talk to her about his concerns, but it was a conversation that never happened. Abbey's defensiveness always kicked in and the discussion would be met with too strong a response to continue. It was always sidelined for more agreeable topics.

That night was no different.

\- - -

"I thought we were going to buy them the dollhouse for Lizzie's birthday party next week," he started later that night.

"I know, but I felt bad about this morning so I decided to get it for them early. That's not a problem, is it?" Barely taking a breath, she continued, "And before you answer, in the interest of fairness, I think you should know that I noticed two ring pops missing from the hidden stash you don't think I know about."

She wasn't exactly playing fair, he thought, but it was a valid point. While she showed her remorse through expensive presents, he showed his through edible treats.

To avoid a possible disagreement simmering between them, he simply conceded with a nod. "No, it isn't a problem."

"Good." In true Abbey fashion, she changed the subject. "So Lizzie beat you at chess?"

"Yeah, about that...I think we need to look into firing Paige."

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

When Abbey Bartlet was a little girl, she longed for the day she would meet her Prince Charming. On those cold Boston afternoons, she wrapped herself up in a fantasy world, dreaming of scenarios complete with the fairy tale wedding and the happily ever after. 

When she was in college, she met him. And from that moment on, if there was one thing on which she could always depend, it was Jed's love. She never doubted it. From the way he woke her up in the morning with his warm, tender kisses, to the way he spoiled her with dinner in bed at the end of a grueling day at the hospital, every gesture was engulfed in solicitude, every touch flooded with affection. 

To even the casual observer, their adoration was obvious in the way they looked at one another, the warmth that radiated from them every time they exchanged a glance, the light that sparked from within at the mention of the other's name. And when they were apart, no one dared to doubt that their every thought revolved around each other.

Millie occasionally joked that she and Jed must have been married in a previous life, for their devotion and commitment ran too deep to have been born with the spirits they host in this one. 

Millie.

That's what this was about. Abbey returned to the present, causing her to momentarily abandon the feelings that had captivated her from the second she heard that word.

Divorce.

Like a Pavlovian response, that word conjured up many emotions for her, all of them shadowed in a sense of relief. Divorce was something that happened to other couples, not to her and Jed, not to her parents, and not to her best friend. Not to Millie.

But this time, it was Millie. She had uttered that word only moments before and in a split second, Abbey's fantasy of happily ever after was altered dramatically.

She sat at the table with her fingers locked to the edge of her seat. Her eyes tore into Millie's, and suddenly, the erratic movement of her lips was the only thing that registered in Abbey's brain. She fumbled with a napkin, unaware that she was shredding it to pieces. Perhaps it was out of anger, or disappointment, or maybe even fear.

This had happened before, to other people. In the past few years as she and her classmates graduated with their medical degrees and began residency, many of them had seen their marriages crumble as a result of the demands of their career. It was rare for a marriage to survive the tumultuous years of a doctor's training.

Millie and Steve were different. It wasn't supposed to happen to them. They, like Jed and Abbey, were going to beat the odds. That's what Abbey kept saying to herself. That's what kept her sane and secure. But Millie's security had shattered into a million pieces and the brittle shards of hope that resulted were now pricking at her soul.

She returned home that night with a heavy heart. She put Ellie to bed and said a little prayer for her family and her marriage. 

\- - -

When Jed and Lizzie arrived home, Abbey excitedly rose to her feet and embraced her daughter. "Hi!"

"Mommy!" 

"You're home early." Jed approached her with a kiss, not at all bothered by the fact that she turned quickly right after he made contact.

"Yeah, I am,” Abbey replied. “Lizzie, it's pretty late. You need to go take your bath."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. When you’re done, you can watch a little TV before bed.”

"Okay." 

As she trotted off to the bathroom, Abbey picked up Jed's jacket as soon as he flung it over the sofa. She brought it up to her face to make sure she wasn't imagining things. 

She wasn't.

"So why were you and Lizzie so late?"

"Her dance class ran late. Is Ellie asleep?"

"No, it didn't. The class let out on time. I spoke to the teacher when you didn't come home.”

“You called?”

“I was worried.”

“Sorry.”

“So, what's going on, Jed?"

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said I called the school and Lizzie’s class let out on time. Why did you lie to me?”

He looked at her suspiciously. It wasn't like Abbey to check up on him. "Abbey, what’s with you?"

“Why are you avoiding my question?”

“I’m not. But I’m beginning to feel like I’m being interrogated here.” He tried to walk away.

"JED!” She grabbed his elbow and walked around to face him. "Why were you late?"

"I was a half hour late. Are you really going to give me a hard time when you're late practically every night?"

"I don't come home smelling like men's COLONGE!" she snapped as she threw his jacket at him. Jed lowered his head, briefly burying it in the fabric. "So why do you smell like women's perfume?"

He was dumbfounded. This was the last conversation in the world he expected to have tonight. "Abbey..." 

“WHY?”

He dropped the jacket and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he opened his mouth, then closed it.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“It’s not what you think. I swear, it’s not.”

She waited for him to continue and when he didn't, she broke the silence. "Millie came to see me today. She and Steve are getting a divorce." His brows furrowed in obvious shock. "While she was completing her residency, Steve was screwing around."

"What?"

"Because of her marathon shifts, he said she wasn't satisfying all his needs." She didn't just sound angry. She was bitter and despondent. "What I want to know is how would it even be possible for her satisfy these ‘needs’ he allegedly had? She was out busting her ass 100 hours a week. Makes it a little inconvenient to gratify his insatiable sexual appetite. Don't you think?"

Was she lashing out at him or at men in general, he wondered. "Who was the woman?"

"Does it matter?" He shook his head. “As if that would excuse anything.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

"So, are you going to tell me who sprayed perfume all over your jacket, and your shirt by the way? Was it one of the spritz girls at the mall?"

He resented her tone, but desperately trying to remain calm, he ignored it. "No."

"Where were you tonight?" She allowed him to hesitate briefly before she continued. "Did you know the divorce rate among resident surgeons is fifty percent? Those are some odds, huh?"

"We're part of the other number - the other fifty," he replied. 

Her eyes followed him to the record player. He lowered the arm and returned to her, pulling her into his arms. 

"Jed."

Her voice was silenced when she realized what he was doing. He was actually dancing. Not just swaying. Dancing. He led her in the Viennese Waltz to one verse of Once Upon A December, the song he used to recruit Lizzie into practicing with him. 

He twirled her around, then lifted the arm from the vinyl to stop the music. "I've been taking dance classes for the past several months, right down the hall from Lizzie's lessons. That's where I was tonight. WE got out late. Lizzie’s class was on time and she got to come to my class to watch the end. You can ask her. Or better yet, you can check with the studio if you want. I’ll give you my teacher’s name and her studio number.”

"Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise - for our anniversary. And it would have been, too, if my dance partner hadn't drenched herself in perfume and, of course, if Steve hadn't been such a bastard."

His head hung forward, but he raised his eyes over his brows to see her reaction. 

"I can't believe you can dance."

"It's not that unbelievable," he teased. His hands framed her face to keep her eyes locked into his. "Steve really is a bastard. I would never do what he did."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I do. I swear I do. I just lost my mind for a minute. I never should have doubted you, Jed, I’m sorry."

"Abbey, listen to me. No other woman on this planet has what you have." His fingers gently traced her anatomy. "No one else has this incredible brain, these beautiful green eyes, these gorgeous lips, this incredibly hot, sexy body, this body that shields the thing I love more than anything in the world - this enormous heart." His hand rested against her chest. "This heart that I fell in love with, that I could never live without. I promise you I will never, ever break it."

Always a wordsmith. The sentiment brought tears to her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad this came up. We should have had this conversation a long time ago."

"What?"

"This. You. Me. Us. You feel guilty for having to work. You're always trying to make it up to me and to the girls."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Other than the fact that Lizzie now expects gifts every time you get called in to work?"

He had a point. She sighed in acknowledgment. "I just hate disappointing her."

"I know. But there's nothing you can do about it. You said you wanted to be a surgeon. This has always been your dream. You knew the commitment necessary."

"I didn't expect it to be so hard to leave the girls...to leave you."

"We’re dealing with it. And we’d deal with it a lot better if we could all sit down and work something out, a schedule or something. The girls just don't like the unexpected emergencies. They can handle it if we can plan for it."

"I can't plan for it. I never know when I'm going to be needed." It was the most difficult part for her as well. 

"I know, but maybe if we could map out your days on a calendar."

"Or maybe we could let Lizzie manage my schedule, kind of like she kept track of the weeks when I was pregnant with Ellie." That was it. That was a temporary solution. 

"We could buy her a planner and let her mark off your hours, your days off, everything."

"Yeah. I really think it'll help. She'll feel a part of it at least."

Her expression never changed. Still sad and depressed, she looked away until Jed took her hands in his. She didn't have to say it. He knew what she was thinking. "Abbey, you're not a bad mother. I've never seen a more caring mother than you."

Reassurance. He always gave it to her. He was always on her side. "If only I could work on being a better wife.”

"Stop it. You’re the best wife I could ever ask for. I am so blessed to be your husband, Abbey. I love you."

“I love you too. I love you so much.”

She leaned in to a kiss as one thought ran through her mind. She may have temporarily forgotten, but now she was reminded of the obvious. She had found her Prince Charming. 

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

"Lizzie, eat your breakfast."

With schedules running wild, having breakfast as a family had become a rare treat in the Bartlet household. And this was a rare morning. A day off for Abbey, no school for Liz, and a late class for Jed had transformed the early morning rush into a peaceful gathering around the table, complete with the banter that was reminiscent of the days before previous commitments conspired to keep chairs empty.

Today, every seat was filled. With one tiny exception.

As usual, Ellie had squirmed and whined until she was allowed to sit in her mother's lap instead of her high chair. Not quite as independent as her older sister, the toddler had already developed a tight bond with Abbey. 

"Eat your breakfast," Jed repeated.

Her plate pushed aside, Liz was flipping through her padfolio, a red pen in hand. "I have to put in all of Mommy's hours first." 

Her big smile prevented Jed from pressing the issue. Abbey was right. Giving Lizzie the opportunity to manage her schedule had alleviated the tension between mother and daughter. Of course, the fact that the planner was sheltered in a beautiful burgundy leather padfolio embossed with her initials didn't hurt either. 

"Daddy, can I have ice skates?"

"Ice skates?"

"I wanna be just like Miss Derry."

"What, pray tell, is a Miss Dairy?"

"Miss Derry, as in the city queen," Abbey replied. "I let her stay up to watch the Miss New Hampshire Pageant last night."

"And Miss Derry danced, just like I do, except it was on ice."

"On ice? Right there in the auditorium in the middle of May?" It was said with skepticism so obvious that Abbey shot him a glare.

"Synthetic ice."

"Yeah, synetic ice." 

Jed laughed as he always did when she tried to emulate her mother and sound out those big words. "Syn-thet-ic."

Ignoring his correction, she continued. "So can I have them?" 

"We'll talk about it later."

"Why can't we talk about it now?"

"Eat your breakfast." This time it was Abbey who was giving the order. 

"Your mom's a beauty queen, you know."

Lizzie looked to her father excitedly. "Really?!?!"

"No. I was a runner up."

"She's a queen," Jed whispered to Liz.

"Can I be a queen?"

"You already are," Abbey responded. "Now eat your breakfast."

She dropped her pen to take a small bite of her banana pancakes, but her eyes never actually left the calendar, a testament to the pride she took in being her mother's assistant. 

Noticing her cheerful disposition fading quickly, Jed became concerned. "What's the matter?"

"Mommy has to work on Friday."

"I won't miss it. I promise," Abbey reassured.

"But you work until six. The recital's at seven."

"Lizzie, I'll be there. We already bought the tickets. I'm going to be in the front row clapping so loud, you won't miss me."

She wasn't convinced. "It's my first recital."

"Hey," Jed interrupted. "She said she'll be there. No reason to be upset, okay?"

Husband and wife exchanged a grateful, yet cautious glance. Abbey would never intentionally break a promise, but no one knew better than Jed that unpredictability was as much part of her career as her stethoscope. Lizzie had learned this too and, in recent months, it had shaken her confidence, planting the smallest seed of bitterness in her heart.

"Here, Lizbeth." Sensing Lizzie's displeasure, the littlest peacemaker, Ellie, extended her hand across the table to hand her sister a few kernels of her cereal. 

"Thanks, Ellie."

Reluctant to end the roundtable conversation, Jed slowly pushed back his chair and raised his plate. "Unfortunately, I need to go to work." 

"Leave the dishes," Abbey instructed. "I'll get them when the girls are finished."

After kissing Liz and Ellie, he walked to the door with his arm wrapped around Abbey. "You are, you know."

"I am what?"

"A beauty queen. You're my beauty queen. And don't ever forget it."

"Get out of here," she teased as she kissed him goodbye. Glued to the blinds, she watched him drive away before turning to her daughters. "Okay, he's gone. Are you ready?"

Lizzie lowered the arm on the record player to start the music. Abbey took Ellie's hand and stood behind her elder daughter, attentively watching her feet.

"You want me to show you everything?" Liz asked. 

"Everything Daddy taught you. Don't leave anything out."

"Okay."

"And remember, both of you, not a word to your father." 

The girls had become good at this. They enjoyed it. It was fun to help one parent surprise the other, especially for Lizzie. The playfulness between Mom and Dad, that at one time dominated the house, had become virtually nonexistent because of their hectic schedules. But now it almost felt like old times. 

Almost. 

There was still some residual strain in the family unit, thanks to the lack of quality time between them. But learning to adjust had become the motto.

Many nights, when Jed was grading papers and Abbey was working late, Lizzie would lock herself in her room, independently preparing to dazzle an audience filled with parents, friends, and relatives. Because of her outgoing personality and natural talent, she was given a starring role in her ballet school's production to the music from Peter Tchaikovsky's Children's Album. For weeks, she rehearsed for the recital in private, allowing only one person a sneak peek - her biggest fan, Ellie.

\- - -

Moments before the show began on Friday night, she ran her fingers over the edge of the curtains to catch a quick glimpse at her parents. But what she saw instead broke her heart into a million pieces. Ellie sat on Jed's lap, playfully jerking on her grandmother's hair as her grandfather browsed the program book. Next to him was an empty seat, presumably one saved for her mother. 

Her head hung low, disappointment visible in her body language as she turned from the stage. Suddenly, her sadness was washed away by an overwhelming feeling joy when she realized a familiar face was quickly approaching.

"MOMMY!"

"Hey, Baby Doll." Abbey took a second to take in the sight in front of her. Never had she seen Liz looking so mature and so confident. "You look so beautiful. I told you you already are a queen."

"Thank you," she replied sweetly.

"You're missing something though."

"Wha...” Lizzie wrinkled her brows as she stared down at her crimson-colored tutu, pink stockings, and ballet slippers. 

She looked back up when Abbey handed her a black velvet box. Opening the top, she took out a small silver bun barrette sculpted in the shape of a crown.

"Turn around and I'll put it in your hair." 

Barely containing her gratitude, Lizzie hopped slightly as Abbey twirled the clip into her chestnut tresses. "I love it!"

"Are you nervous?" she asked, turning her back around to face her as she dusted the lint off her spaghetti straps.

"No," Lizzie answered initially. "A little," she added then.

"Don't be. You've got a good luck charm now."

"Are you gonna clap for me?"

"Louder than anyone else. And afterwards, we're all going out for ice cream."

"Can we have ice cream now and skip the show?"

"I don't think so," Abbey responded with a chuckle. "Good luck."

"You're supposed to say break a leg."

"Knowing you, you'll pick that very moment to take it literally and actually listen to me for once. So let's just stick with good luck."

Abbey blew her a kiss just before disappearing behind the set. With a smile, Lizzie brushed her fingers over the barrette once more. This one was a special gift, not bought because she was late or because she wanted her daughter's forgiveness. This one was bought simply because her mother loved her.

It was a good luck charm in the truest sense of the phrase. It went a long way in bridging the gap between Abbey and Elizabeth. 

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

July 1977

Cross over, pass through, make two loops, that's the rule.

Ever since he was a little boy, a simple thing like tying a bowtie had filled Jed with a sense of accomplishment. It all began one evening when, as a ten-year-old, he stood in front of his bedroom mirror and struggled for hours to conform to the image of munchkin in a monkey suit. But every time made an ill-fated effort to complete the look, the loops of his bowtie escaped his grasp. He was frustrated and angry. And more than anything else, he was terrified. 

It scared him to his core to think about the look of disappointment he'd get from his father if he dared to show up to his awards banquet without a neatly tied tie. He'd be yelled at and ridiculed in public, in front of his peers, in front of his friends. He had been practicing for days, praying to God to help prevent the humiliation that would result from admitting that every attempt ended in disaster.

Tears trailed from that young boy's crystal blue eyes, dampening his lashes, and staining his rosy cheeks. But that night, his prayers were answered. In a rare moment of relief, his bedroom door swung open and his mother sympathetically approached. 

She positioned him in front of the mirror and stood behind him. He stared at their reflection as her fingers crossed the longer end of the fabric over the shorter and pulled it through the resulting loop. He watched closely as she finagled it into a knot with another loop and evened the ends before tightening it around his neck.

"Piece of cake," she said as she used her hands to straighten out his light brown mane of hair. She made everything look so easy.

An otherwise superficial lesson held a coveted spot in his memory bank even after 22 years. It was one of the few childhood memories he cherished.

"Piece of cake," he mumbled to himself with a tug on the ends of his tie.

Memories. That's what tonight was about. 

Ten years ago, everything had changed. He left behind his turbulent past and began a new life with Abbey.

He smiled fondly as he remembered that first look of her in her wedding dress. She walked down the aisle on her father's arm, her white crystal-trimmed ball gown flowing alongside and her dark auburn hair lightly brushing against her shoulders. 

At that moment, he felt he had never seen anything more beautiful than the woman standing before him. But ten years later, he realized that woman had grown more intelligent, more confident, and more regal with every passing day. 

"Jed!"

Jarred back to the present, he jumped to his feet at the sound of her voice. She frantically ran to the bedroom, still dressed in scrubs, her hair spilling out of a clip in the back of her head.

"I know I'm late. Don’t be mad," she said as she ripped her clothes from her body and grabbed a towel on the way to the shower. "Ten minutes. I promise." 

He shook his head and chuckled in response. Ordinarily, he may have been a little irked by her tardiness on such an important night, but fortunately, she caught him right in the middle of one of those moments when his love for her outweighed anything else.

He eventually let himself into the bathroom and wiped the steam off the mirror to apply his Acqua Di Gio cologne. "How was work?"

"Until about an hour ago, it was a quiet day."

"Accident?"

"Four-car pileup on 93."

"Good thing we're not leaving on time then," he teased.

When she finished, she pulled on the curtains to reveal only her head peeking through the vinyl. "Can you hand me my towel?"

He turned on her with surprise. "What is this? We're shy all of a sudden?"

"I just know that if I jump out of this shower naked and wet, you're going to start something we don't have time to finish."

Well, that was certainly a possibility, and she made no secret of the fact that she even wanted him to. If only they had the time.

He picked up the towel and extended his hand towards her. "Here."

As her fingers reached for it, he pulled it back out of her grasp. "Jed!"

"I guess you'll have to get out to get it," he replied with a smirk.

"You're going to pay for that," she warned as she climbed out of the tub and jumped to him, practically melding her soaked skin to his dry tuxedo.

"I'd be really pissed about that if you weren't standing here looking as alluring as you do." Naked and wet. Always such a provocative combination.

He surrendered to her hot, steamy kiss, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. 

As her feet touched the floor, she pulled away. "This is going to have to wait until later, Gumdrop. We don't have time." 

Strongly aroused, he was shocked when she spun around on him with the blow dryer at full-speed, the hot air aimed at his face first then his dampened tux.

She tucked the cord under her chin and left him standing there with that confused, yet handsome face that was as much Jed Bartlet as his witty humor and sarcasm. More handsome today, she thought, than when she met him all those years ago, before he was a professor and a politician, before he was a husband and a father, before he was the man he was today. 

He was always a good, decent human being, but he had grown into a leader, not afraid of adversity, a patriarch, up to the challenge of raising temperamental daughters, a spouse, accepting and accommodating of his wife's demanding career. 

He was her lover, her confidante, and her best friend.

Her mind lost in thought, she dried herself off, released the shower cap from her head, and glided a pair of pantyhose up her silky legs before slipping into her red satin robe.

Another fifteen minutes passed before Jed joined her in the bedroom. She was standing in front of the mirror, dusting her eye lids with shimmering shadow when she smelled his cologne, that familiar scent that always swelled her heart.

With her hands raised above her head as she clipped a few strands of her auburn tresses to the top of her hair, her short robe had slid up her thighs, revealing just a hint of her shapely hips. He approached her quietly, a single finger making contact with her shoulder just as he noticed his reflection right next to hers.

"Hi," he whispered, pulling on her robe to press his lips to her bare shoulder.

She laughed softly. "Hi."

"You look gorgeous."

"I'm almost ready." He watched her remove a sapphire cocktail dress from the garment bag and allow her robe to fall off her shoulders slowly. Methodically. She knew what she was doing. The dress slipped onto her body, instantly hugging her curves. "Zip me up?"

Her back to him, he pulled her zipper up using the same seductive manipulations he had silently accused her of moments earlier. And before she could turn around, he held her steady with one arm draped across her shoulder. She tried to lower her head as she felt a light prick against her skin, but his lips had engaged hers, making it impossible to see what he was doing until he circled around her, allowing her a glimpse at her reflection.

A sterling silver necklace dangled from her neck, three diamond pendants hanging one below the other, the last one dancing just above her cleavage.

"Happy Anniversary," he whispered into her ear as he fastened the clasp in the back.

"Jed, we were going to wait until tonight to exchange gifts."

"This isn't a gift. It's just something to go with your outfit."

She rubbed her fingertips against the stones as she turned back towards the mirror. "It's breathtaking."

His fingers joined hers on the top pendant, the smallest of the three. "This one is a symbol of our past. It's for all those years you put up with me, the years you sacrificed your own ambitions so I could go to school in London, the two wonderful daughters you've given me, and the best ten years of my entire life." 

"Mine too."

His hand moved a little further down on the necklace. "This middle one here, that's for right now, for being who you are, the brilliant doctor I love more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. You are my world, Abbey."

"You're going to ruin my make-up," she protested as a few tears shined her eyes.

With one thumb positioned to catch stray teardrops, his other thumb grabbed hold of the largest stone. "This is for what's still to come. It's for our future - yours, mine, and the girls - together, as a family. I'm making you a promise right now that I will do everything in my power to make our future just as bright as this diamond."

"I love you so much." She pressed her body against his, thanking him with another kiss, then pushing him onto the bed. "Now, sit down. I have a little something for you too."

"We're doing gifts later."

Echoing his words as she handed him a book, she replied, "It's not a gift. It's just something I picked up because it reminded me of you." 

He cautiously rose to his feet. "Oh my God." He flipped it around and ran his fingers over the author's name. "How did you..."

"When we were at the farm last month, I found an old box in the attic."

He had forgotten about that abandoned carton, the carton that held a set of eleven fables by Thornton W. Burgess. At age six, those stories were his escape from the real world, his consolation when he felt alone. He saved his allowance every week until he could buy the fifty-cent books one at a time and each and every time he made another purchase, he hurried home to write his name inside the front cover.

But when Abbey found them, she noticed something peculiar. The set was incomplete. From the series titles on the back cover, she realized Burgess had written twelve books, not eleven. 

What she didn't know at the time was that it had taken Jed slightly longer to save his money for that final book and by the time he did, the corner bookstore had sold out of the one and only printing. 

"Where did you find it?" he asked.

"At an estate sale last week. You'd be surprised what local book collectors keep stored away. I know it's been a long time and you've probably forgotten..." They both knew that wasn't the case. Jed had never forgotten, even after all these years. "...but your series is now complete." 

Visibly touched, he relinquished the hold on his emotions and pulled her into a hug so tight he nearly squeezed her out of her dress. Unable to resist, her hands wandered down the length of his spine to squeeze his rear.

He reluctantly pulled away. "You know, I'm tempted to forget dinner altogether and just celebrate in here every time you do that."

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"No, but I will tell you we're going to be late."

"One coat of mascara and we're out the door." She made her way to her vanity and dabbed a tissue against her eyes to dry any residual wetness.

"No one's going to care how dark your lashes are. The way you cry, you'll just have black tracks down your cheeks by the end of the night anyway." The serious glare mirrored in her reflection caused his smile to fade immediately. "I'll just wait here quietly," he added as he took a seat on the bed. 

The two-hour drive to Boston seemed shorter that night. Jed drove with one hand on the wheel, another hand entangled in Abbey's. But there weren't many words exchanged between them. It was a silent ride, one inundated with random thoughts about the all-too-rapid passage of time.

As they neared their destination, the element of surprise had pretty much vanished. They curved the ellipse and approached the valet. Abbey sat back, grinning from ear to ear. 

The Red Room. 

It was a posh black-tie restaurant nestled in the heart of the theater district. A place Abbey had developed quite a fondness for when they lived in Boston, a place that Jed avoided at all costs because of the haunting dancefloor and the strong implications it presented to a klutz like himself. 

But this was going to be different. This was a night eight months in the making. He had planned everything - from the guest list to the song list performed by live musicians. 

Spontaneity wasn't a virtue. Not tonight.

He helped her out of the car, looping his arm around hers as they walked towards the decorative pillars that supported the red-tinted triangular building, shooting it up into the sky. An elevator whisked them to the top floor where a crowd of familiar faces greeted them with congratulatory screams.

"You told me the girls were spending the weekend with my parents," Abbey admonished as she hugged her daughters, both dressed in elegant children's formal wear.

"They are. I just didn't say they were bringing them here first," Jed replied.

James and Mary embraced their daughter. "Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart."

A quick scan of the room and Abbey realized that Jed had rented out the entire restaurant. He had flown in Kate and her fiancé and Leo and Jenny, he invited his academic colleagues, her hospital colleagues, including Dr. Robert Nolan, a cardiologist with whom Abbey had developed a tight bond, and, of course, all of their friends, including a soon-to-be-divorced Millie, who swallowed her own problems to sincerely pass on her congratulations. 

It was big. It was extravagant. It was one-hundred percent Jed Bartlet. 

"This must have cost a fortune. It's too much." 

"Nothing's too much for you." 

He nodded at the band, giving them their cue, then extended his hand as an invitation to dance to the instrumental version of The Anniversary Waltz. Their hands connected, they began the rotary steps from one end of the dance floor to the other, flawlessly. 

"Is this your first time in public since you began taking lessons?" 

"Yeah," he answered enthusiastically. He wasn't nervous. He was just happy. He took the classes for her, but he never expected to actually enjoy dancing. Maybe it wasn't the dancing. Maybe it was just his partner that made him squirm with a rush of adrenaline. "And, actually, I'm a bit surprised you're as good as you are. I don't remember you being this good on our wedding day."

"I had a good teacher."

Their hands still joined, he separated their bodies in amazement. "What?"

"Lizzie." 

He pulled her back to him with a laugh. "It's a conspiracy."

"I wasn't about to let you show me up. I made her teach me everything you taught her."

A few of the guests joined them as they continued the dance, swiftly whirling around from one corner to the other as if floating across the floor until the music grew deliberately softer, leading into the next selection. 

Abbey dropped her hand from Jed's and pushed herself further into his arms then rested her chin on his shoulder.

He gently tightened his hold. "I take it you like this one?" he asked jokingly.

It was the song they had chosen to play at their reception for their first dance as husband and wife.

"I never imagined I'd love anyone as much as I love you either," she said softly, only loud enough for him to hear. "You're my world too."

He released his grip and lifted her head off his shoulder to look her in the eye. "Well, that's not fair - throwing my own words back at me. Get your own material," he sarcastically criticized.

Her nose wrinkled slightly when she returned his smile, a look of adoration dominating her features. "My own material? Okay, how's this. I'm not the only one who made sacrifices. You've made plenty of your own ever since I began medical school. And I'm not sure I've ever said thank you."

"We had a deal. When we went to London, we made a deal."

"And I sometimes think you've gone far beyond the call of duty. I thank God every day for a lot of things, but I what I thank him for more than anything else is for blessing my two little girls with the best father I could have ever imagined, and for letting me find him - the man of my dreams," she concluded with another embrace.

"A fortune spent on dance lessons and all she wants to do is snuggle and sway," he said in an attempt to superficially lighten the mood.

She looked up and cupped his chin to turn his head towards her. "Just wait until I get you home tonight. That's when the real celebration begins."

As their lips met, he realized he had been wrong. Tonight wasn't just about sharing memories. It was about making new ones. 

 

The End

To be continued in Say You Love Me Too


End file.
